Once I was old enough to have a job, my parents would punish me by making the pantry off limits for a day or two, forcing me to use my own money for food.
Wouldn't that end up with a kid who values nothing, not even their own life?
My mom used a similar technique to get me to do what she wants me to do, and I ended up, well, the way I am right now. I hide a lot of things from her, and if necessary, only pretend to show interest in things I don't give a damn about just to have a semblance of a personality. Worse, even if I die right after this comment, I wouldn't mind one bit.
Naw sounds more like it would teach them consequences for their actions while reminding them privileges are not a given. Your mom may have just taken it too far too many times. Or maybe you were a slow learner, who knows.
So rather than taking the lesson that you shouldn't behave in destructive ways, your reaction was to hide what you enjoy so she couldn't punish you by depriving you of those things? That's... I'm not qualified to say what that is, but it's not a great approach. I'm sorry that you don't value your own life. It sounds like you could benefit immensely from counseling or professional psychiatric help. Don't think of asking for help as weakness, it takes a lot of strength to admit we don't have the answers and need help.
Mine always knew I was a loner, and with the passing time she perfectioned her threats and punishments: at first she would hide the keyboard in her closet, so I found it; she tried the same with the power cords, mouse, modem and even though I always find them, it had became harder and harder; then she shut down the electricity, so I bought a power supply; she broke my mouse, so I bought a new one. Reaching an impasse, knowing that nothing she could do would stop me, she committed the worst treason her: she took hostage my computer, far far away from our house, while I was at school.
Some time later he came back, but he was never the same…