Unless it's boiled before they bake it, it's not a fucking bagel, it's doughnut-shaped bread. Bagels also do not contain blueberries, and any suggestion to the contrary should be met with a swift ass whooping.
This made me think, "Everything" bagels don't actually include blueberries, but it's literally supposed to contain everything! Irrefutable proof that blueberries can't be in bagels