HP TV ads claim its printers are 'made to be less hated'

I am a professional photocopier technician, focusing on office sized, but also desktop laser photocopiers. I am certified in HP, Lexmark, various Xerox models, and various Canon photocopiers.
I say with all of my heart: Fuck HP.
- Well, shit I must be from Alabama cuz I’m marrying my Brother
  
  Ricoh, we just bought a big one for our volunteer office and it has NOT been a PITA for six whole weeks. No attention needed from me, the elderly and/or technology illiterate volunteers print all day with zero stress. Thank you, Ricoh, you beautiful. golden. Bastards.
- What, now even the office printers?
  
  Especially the office models

But half of their modern printers require a monthly paid subscription to even function. They need to stop doing that.
- people need to stop buying HP printers
  
  They did.
  They now rent them through a monthly paid subscription.
- Hang on, I've had the same Brother laser printer for 10 years. Are you telling me there are for real subscription services for printers now?
  
  Yup, a subscription that sends you ink and paper as needed (printer reports you need ink soon, sends an order automatically)
  Some are even billed per-page printed.
  If you cancel or remove your payment method: the ink you currently have stops working.
  
  Yep.
  HP is especially known for pushing ink subscriptions. There was some news about it recently, which is why this article exists, he's justifying their shitty behaviour.
  
  Amateur, I have my HL5170DN from 2006 still going strong
  
  There have always been for all brands, but they are usually part of a leasing contract for businesses. The new thing is that HP is trying to trick consumers into similar contracts even though most have no need for it.
- HP’s own laser printers are actually still spared of this nonsense. I use their supplies for best results as I used to contract with them and did repairs on their business customer’s machines. A large number of repair requests were caused by damage from 3rd party cartridges with low quality fusers that would cause toner to clog the mechanism.
- The ink plan isn't required, you can still use regular cartridges.
  
  But they do require you create an account and register the printer before it will function with their newer consumer printers.
  
  It depends on the model, some actually require some level of subscription to even function.

Does anyone at HP even use their own printers?
- Depends if there's a camera nearby or not.
  "They're gone? Bring back the Brother."
- I wish i had the answer to this, as i work ewaste in the silicon valley, but HP isnt one of our clients.
- Probably not the inkjets. The lasers have been good. Old ones were eternal.
  
  I remember programming rude messages into the LCDs of those old HP Laserjets in college. Good times

It's not their printers which are hated, it's their business model of selling overpriced ink and toner cartridges to a price that's higher than champagne prices and using technical devices to make it impossible to use other toner sources, firmware to make printers stop working when ink runs anywhere near low (they define 'low' as 33% ink left), while at the same time ensuring that as much ink and toner as possible are wasted through unnecessary testing and calibration and cleaning processes.
- No, we hate their fucking printers as well. Non-removable printheads and automatic retraction to try to stop you from unclogging their shit hardware. I'd also include the firmware in critique of their printers, what you mention above, as well as limiting black printing if color is low (even with dedicated black cartridges). Arbitrarily restricting scanning on some models, etc.
  We decidedly DO hate their printers.
  
  That are all symptoms of said business model. And Hewlett Packard isn't the only company with such abominations.
- To add to your point, their printers are indeed hated, but it is simply a symptom of their terrible business model and not the problem itself.
- No, I hate their bloated as fuck drivers as well.
- Not to forget possibility of machine identification code (in best case waste of toner/ink, in worst case dangerous).
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Identification_Code

He smiled as he typed.
'Our printers are made to be less hated.'
"Lol," he said. "Lmao."
- Less hated, more loathed.
  
  Despised even.

Can we sue for false advertising

We have some old, great HP printers. Rock solid.
As they die, Brother, my Brother.
Fuck the latest HP.
- Iirc Brother printers are heading down a similar dark path. Though I don’t recall where I got that info, so take it with a grain of salt.
  Edit: I somehow misspelled brother.
  
  Every Brother printer I have personally owned over the past 20 years was a colossal piece of shit.
- Hp 4000 series laser printers are still the bomb
  
  I have a 4050 and a 1200 still going strong. When they do go I have a Kyocera and a Brother to replace them.

They were when HP was run by engineers.
- HP is a fallen giant that cannot stand back up so uses it's grotesque fingernails to dig itself deeper down into the ground instead.
  
  Thanks, Meg Whitman.

With all the interest in 3D printer and large communities building their own printers, where are the amateur 2D printers? Did we just jump to 3D printing because it was cooler (which I also admit is amaizing)?
I just want a basic 2D inkjet or laser printer that doesn't stop printing because magenta is low or doesn't waste ink to “clean” the print head, nor make up weird errors because it doesn't have access to the internet.
What about printers without ink? Would it be too hard/complicated to use a lower power laser (instead of a laser cutter) to burn/scorch a thin micrometric, if not nanometric, layer of normal everyday printing/copy white paper?
As a child, I remember scorching magazine/journal paper and all sorts of wood materials with my grandmother's handheld magnifying lens under the summer sun in the yard. I was able to draw stuff without burning some of the material completely.
- What about printers without ink?
  Laser printers have existed for a long time and they don't use ink, but they do use toner. I'm gonna assume just scorching the paper has been proven to be a bad idea, because someone would have tried to market a toner-free printer by now otherwise.
  My best guess is that it's very hard to scorch paper to a color anywhere near black without creating a serious fire hazard. Even if you could calibrate the laser just right, the next batch of paper could burn because it has a slightly different weight, texture, or composition.
  You'd probably end up being special paper stuff something in it that turns black at a fairly low temperature. That's pretty common for things like receipt printers.
  
  Zink Paper is an alternative but nowhere as cheap as regular paper+ink
  The paper has several layers: a backing layer with optional pressure sensitive adhesive, heat-sensitive layers with cyan, magenta and yellow dyes in colorless form, and an overcoat.

Well, I don't think they could be any more hated.
- They could talk.
  
  That must be the inspiration for a recent American Dad! episode.

The HP logo is all it takes to make printers hated at this point. Couldnt give me one even if it included 10yrs of ink.
- I hated my mom's Epson way more than any HP I've ever used. It was nice because it was a ink-tank model, but the software was awful.
  This is kinda like saying I'd rather step in the slightly smaller pile of shit.

Does this count as false advertising?

HP makes my most hated printers.
- You're not wrong, and imma let you finish, but Epson edges-out HP by just a hair imho.

Lmao. Is this real? Why is less in italics?

This is a good opportunity to ask if there's a better printer company whose printers we should buy instead.
- Oh Brother, Where Art Thou!
  
  "I don't want Fop, goddamnit; I'm a Dapper Dan man!"
- In addition to Brother, Ecotank style printers (printers that refill from ink bottles instead of cartridges) are pretty good even if they come from usually shittier printer companies. The ink is extremely cheap and there's no way to prevent people from using different brands of ink bottles.
  You have to pay more up front for the printer, but that's because they're sold with the idea that the printer company makes its money upfront instead of overcharging you for ink later.
  
  Just adding to this, toner printers are ideal if you’re printing only a few items per year. If ink dries, it makes for some intensely frustrating issues. I’m 90% of the way to finding HP’s CEO and bringing my clogged nozzle printer down on their stupid face.
  
  Those printers are definitely gold for heavy users. Cheap ink. If you don't use it a lot, would the ink dry and damage the printer? Or evaporate and vanish?
  Honest question because imk cartridges dry out all the time.
  
  deleted
  
  Thanks!!
- People often suggest Brother. I have two Brother printers and they are....tolerable. They are much better than HP, but that bar is very low. I think all printers kind-of suck. Lasers are better than inkjet for most uses, and much more affordable than they used to be.
  I kind of feel like we haven't seen a significant advancement in home printer technology in a long time (except for 3d printing, but that's a very different animal).
  
  I've had an Oki mono laser printer for so long, I gave it to my kids. It was a "cheap" printer in the scheme of things, but it was a compact duplex printer and I only ever needed a new $50 toner for it over the years.
  It also didn't come with a 650MB printer driver package with a shitty tray application or a subscription.
  
  At least with a paper printer you don't have to do a bunch of fiddly bed-leveling
- Brother. Been using their cheap black and white laser printers for like a 15 years with zero issues. I got a refurbished one like this a few years ago it just works: https://www.brother-usa.com/products/RHLL2350DW
  Even the wireless functionality just works. Shows up on my computers and phones with zero configuration.
- Go laser, at least for BW. It'll last years on one cartridge and ink never clogs because, well, no ink. My 1996 Lexmark just died.
  I hear Brother is one of the better for consumer. I have a Canon color laser, and it's a POS. Fortunately I bought it second hand for $50.
- I got a cheap cannon a few years back £20 brand new. It's purely wired and the print quality is meh, but i don't print a lot and it has a scanner. I've never really had any trouble with it and with Linux and when I used to have a Mac it's always been plug and play. Of course they still get you with Ink prices though. But it could be a lot worse.

Subhead: "apparently they're being serious" - The Register knows what people think!

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

So...it's not an HP printer?
- My guess if you buy a HP printer, they send a Brother laser printer, which is going to make consumers much happier.

Hahaha. Now this explains why MSoft have started pushing hp smart app. Absolute scum bags them both. Wonder how much MSoft accepted to push that software out?

Someone did some market research and found out they're in the dog house.

HP literally defines my hate of printers, this is hilarious.

So they recognize that people hate their printers.

hp has sullied their brand pretty well

lol, lmao even

Reminder that HP is a BDS target

This is the best summary I could come up with:
If vegging in front of the idiot box is something you do to decompress after an afternoon spent fantasizing about going "Office Space" on your workplace's HP facilities, we suppose you might have caught a rare telly spot commissioned by the PC and printing giant.
Which may come as news to HP's long-suffering users who still, for whatever reason, need to brand mushed-up trees with corporate nonsense despite this alleged digital age.
The three ads touch upon a spectrum of negative emotions that will be highly relatable to those who have ever tried to print something at home or work – sorrow, anger, despair – and all end with extreme and cathartic human-on-printer violence.
The Register wonders if the hapless worker's hatred would be softened somewhat if he had attended the recent UBS Global Technology conference, where HP chief financial officer Marie Myers gave a speech on how the company's Printing division margin has risen from 14.8 percent in fiscal 2020 to 18.9 percent in fiscal 2023.
The final spot sees a young gentleman, sweat beading on his brow, trying to improve the Wi-Fi signal to his printer by hoisting the beast above his head.
This vulture long ago rid himself of printers – which, incidentally, were made by HP – and now lives a euphoric existence in the metaverse.
The original article contains 655 words, the summary contains 220 words. Saved 66%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

Jokes on them I hate all home printers equally hard. I'd rather just cough up the $0.50 to print my stuff at the library.

Y'all still print?
- Lots of people do. And let me blow your mind some more: Lots of countries still use fax machines, for whatever unholy reason. Those things can be a pain in the ass to troubleshoot sometimes.
- It's necessary sometimes in office/work settings.
  Home printing isn't necessary most of the time nowadays since everything is online. But a lot of corporate/office/industrial/professional type work environments print A LOT of stuff. They still need to buy printers and ink and get them serviced etc.