So what's your culture's weird ass Christmas tradition?
I'm the most Kkkrackkkers of Amerikkkans so my tradition is just getting drunk off mulled wine and re-watching bad holiday movies with relatives I only kinda like.
Dancing around a tree we've decorated while singing songs about how we're going to eat it (okay just one song, other songd are about other stuff).
Competitively eating a form of rice porridge mixed with whipped cream and almonds, until one of us gets a whole almond and they get a present.
One of the elders of the family will abandon us in the night, only to don a garment of mixed red-and-white fabrics, stuff their pants and belly with hay or cloth so as to simulate obesity, wear a fake beard and then return claiming to be a man called "Santa Claus". They will then go to each child in the den and interrogate them on their behaviour for the year. If the child is deemed worthy then it is handed a preset. If not it will be handed coal and scolded for all to see.