Why do people keep asking where I'm from?
Why do people keep asking where I'm from?
Up until I started working, I didn't really encounter that question. When I did start working, people started asking me that question.
Them: Where are you from?
Me: Canada.
Them: Where are your grandparents from?
Me: Canada.
Them: Ok, where are your great grandparents from?
Me: Canada.
It's irritating sometimes. I just want to exist, do my job and go home, like anyone else. Once is ok, twice is odd, three times is weird, and the fourth time is a pattern.
The only accent that I might have would probably be from Newfoundland, Canada, as I grew up with a lot of people from there. I also talk too fast sometimes.
Have you had similar experiences, and if so, how did you handle it? Can fast speech patterns cause this? Why do random people care so much?
So are you autistic? Because the literal-mindedness of your answers and the lack of awareness of how to engage in small talk is telling. I say this as one on the spectrum myself; it took me a long time to understand this is just an attempt to establish social connections by finding points of commonality. "Oh, you're from Calgary? I used to live there, too! Did you know a store called Myth Games?" Neurotypical people are also waiting for you to ask the same things in return and often feel miffed if you don't show any curiosity about them.
I'm a white Australian and I get asked this all the time. Mostly they're just trying to make conversation and since most people at work are migrants it's a natural conversation starter. Sometimes they are looking to remind me that the only real Australians are the indigenous peoples and I am, therefore, British. This what you get labelled if you say your background is English/Irish lol. My favourite was being called British by a mixed German/Brazilian who insisted he was Spanish.
In countries with a lot of immigration and diversity I think it's natural for people to talk about this. I like hearing about what life was like for people in Tibet, or Myanmar, Eritrea, Cook Islands etc. I don't think it carries the same level of racist connotations as it used to. How are we supposed to have cultural exchange if we can't talk about our backgrounds?___
Probably racism like in this skit:
Yea but where are u from?
It's just a standard office getting to know you small talk thing. You'll get used to it.
FYI, they were looking for you to actually talk and engage with them, not a one word answer. Tell them what part of Canada, that your family was part of the Canada-US wars and locked the US's. And most importantly, ask them something in return...
After the second time you should just respond "don't overthink it"
I've watched a lot of Canadian TV and worked with a lot of Canadians and the Newfy accent is pretty distinct, even in Canada. If you've just got a touch of it you might sound vaguely Irish or Scottish. That would explain why people are asking where you're from.
I have a long time friend who complains about this kind of behavior. Friend is a Creek Indian living in the Muskogee Creek Nation in Oklahoma. That's about as native-born and indigenous as you can get.
Unfortunately, her skin is somewhat less than lily-white, and that just seems to bring out the dumbasses.
I'm swedish and living in France and I get that question a lot (but not about my parents/grandparents wtf?)
If cute girl: you have to guess! Then get very fake outraged if she says Germany etc. Friendly banter ensues.
Otherwise it's just people who want to chit chat with you so just roll with it and expect the classic jokes (for me it's IKEA, Volvo, surströmming...).
Newfoundland has a very particular accent, do you speak with a strong accent?
I get asked this a lot, because my accent is dissimilar from the area I live now. I think if people were more familiar with the area I'm from, they'd ask where my parents are from because my accent and terms are a weird mix of the two places.
I have a classic NZ voice as well as a tan and get asked this often because I'm in the most Caucasian place outside of Europe (I'll let you guess). Half the time they don't even assume where I'm from because they don't have enough education about the world to hold any stereotypes about me (which makes them draw a blank about countries), which ironically gives me the freedom to respond however I want.
If you're now in Australia, it is polite to ask "where y'from" as a starter convo, as knowing who your mob are is part of getting to know you. An Aussie would find the answer [insert country name here] as pretty standoffish (sort of an "I don't want to talk about it or be friends with you" answer) but if they were determined to get to know you they might then ask patiently "where in Canada?" or ask about the part of Canada you might originate from, knowing it is a large place. This helps them to understand who you are and work better alongside you in big projects in future. Unfriendly people aren't really worth working with or helping out if the going gets tough.
Think of it this way: If you have spoken four words to someone "Canada" and "why do you ask?" they are less motivated to cover your shift. If they know you are from that cool place with several excellent bands and a beautiful landscape and you often chat about whales or whatever, they might try to help you out. Also, how cold and bleak your life would be without the occasional conversation with someone at least once a day. Many people live alone.
How do you first get to know your work colleagues? Ask about a sport or the weather? Or ask about something else? Is small talk and office acquaintances not a thing where you are from?
I don't make a big deal about it.It's just a small talk question like any other. I just answer that i'm half canadian, half tunisian. I was born in Canada but at 2 years old i lived in tunisia till 18 and went back to Canada
Do you have an unusual or oddly spelled surname?
I do. It's by marriage, and coworkers sometimes awkwardly ask about it. It won't be the first question they ask - because that would be weird, but it often comes up if it sort of fits the conversation.
I notice this a lot in Canada and the US. I think it's a weird internalization of the fact that these countries are made up of colonizers and people the colonizers brought in to do their dirty work for them.
Let me preface this by saying I'm white, and I lived in pretty much the same place until I was about 20. Most of my friends and acquaintances were also white and also born and raised in the area. My take on this is based on that lived experience. I am very aware that this question can take on very dark racist tones depending on the context.
"Where are you from" in a lot of cases doesn't mean "you look different or you talk different," it means "where did your ancestors come from"? When people ask, or volunteer this information, they're talking about that family history. This is how you get people from Alberta with four generations of family history in Alberta claiming that they're "a quarter German, a quarter Italian, an eighth Irish, and an eighth English", and that's the type of answer they expect when they ask a white or white-passing person this question.
What kind of job?
People ask me where I’m from a lot because they can’t place my accent, but I don’t think it’s different at work than elsewhere.
I worked a phone line for awhile and people asked where I was from sometimes, but not the whole grandparents spiel.
Time to ask a different question.
Where am I from? No hints.
I never know how to answer this. I grew up till middle school in Canada and the rest of my school in India. I rarely get dentist with many Indian traditions, but I also didn’t spend enough time in Canada to be a “real” Canadian.
I just flip a coin in my head and answer each time. And then get the follow-up asking where my parents are from. Just ask my race, you coward.
Oh my goodness. I am pretty much garden variety white, fair skin, blue eyes, dark hair, but mom's dad was half native American or Mexican (such a brutal upbringing he never talked about them so she didn't know for sure beyond "Oklahoma"), she looked more native in features, I got some of that and what I got asked down here when young is "what are you?"
It may be your accent but maybe it's your looks. I think just responding, "Canada, what about you?" is correct.
As to why people care, I don't rightly know. Maybe they think you might like to talk about it, or like to put people in boxes or don't know you and are trying awkwardly to make small talk.
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