I am planning to eventually build my own home server, and when I do I will hook it up via ethernet. But I do want to switch away from the generic FIOS router and use my own for more control over my data and security. Any recommendations?
You already have some good suggestions, so i just want to mention openWRT which can be flashed on off-the-shelf router combo (just check their supported devices first, if you go this route)
As a networking noob I spent more than a week configuring it to get it right, including needing to SSH into it because I flashed the wrong firmware (do not get NA and EU confused, the difference is enough to flat line your modem).
But in the end, I eliminated my bufferbloat with SQM; a feature the stock device lacked. I also set up a USB to act as expanded storage to install more software.
It also works on x86 and has better bufferbloat mitigation than the BSD based router systems (*sense), which means lower latency/pings under heavy WAN (internet) load.
My TP-Link ER8411 can't be flashed with OpenWRT even though their software is based on a very old version of it. :(
I have 10Gbps internet and can't find any 10Gbps routers that support custom firmware. Building a pfSense system that supports 10Gbps would be much more expensive and use more power than a router that has a purpose-built SoC.
I don't have space for full-depth rackmount hardware - I just have a small shallow networking rack.
From the video, it sounds like this device can't actually achieve 10Gbps in real life. At 46:44 in the video, he says that he got 6.5Gbps with the firewall enabled and one firewall rule, and at 47:15 he said that NAT download speed (i.e. what you'd experience with an actual internet connection) was only 4.2Gbps.
I get full speed through my ER8411, and it was cheaper than this device too ($350). I'm annoyed by a lack of IPv6 features, but it does achieve full 10Gbps speeds at least.