Anon asks what's wrong with himself

Anon thinks he "won" by getting the girl, not realising that entering a relationship isn't the finish line.

What is the finish line
- Dying together in bed at 100.
- It's not a race? There probably shouldn't be any particular "goal" of a relationship. You're in one because it's good for you both, not to complete some checklist.
Pretty sure he entered the pussy after dates but who knows, it's 4chan

Believe it or not? This is avoidant attachment style.

Like literal fucking definition.

Probably, but could just as well be anxious attachment since we don't have the whole story. I'm on the anxious side and this happens a lot if the other doesn't show enough interest or is closed off in conversation.
- fair. I guess I haven't dated anyone other than my ex wife so... I guess I really shouldn't jump to these conclusions.
- My first thought was OP is dismissive avoidant. It's the no-overlap Venn diagram of, "I want to be close enough to be loved, but not close enough to be hurt." OP: go take one of the attachment style tests online. There's a lot of good stuff that might help you get out of this Catch 22. Who knows, though? There is scant information.
  
  OP: do you find yourself resenting your partner? Wishing they'd get out of your space/stop bugging you with their needs?

I get it. I wouldn't want to date a girl who has so little self-confidence as to date me.

I Don’t Want to Belong to Any Club That Will Accept Me as a Member
- But always try to join clubs
- Hello Marx
Bruh.

Probably watched too much porn and got used to seeing new bodies and faces every time.

Or gay
- Gay men want to have sex with more women? Interesting, please tell me more.

Could be ADHD. The idea of a new relationship and the dopamine from the chase and the victory would be relatively short-lived, and their brain would naturally start seeking out its next hit.

That's a really distorted view of what ADHD is.
- …
  
  I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was fourteen. I am now thirty. I’ve done my research to manage my condition and have come across this; and even more, I have experienced this very thing. It is not the whole picture, certainly, and as ADHD is a spectrum, it will not be present in all of us; but it is not an uncommon symptom; and it’s basically what I could pull from the post without making assumptions about anon’s other characteristics.
- I have diagnosed ADHD and I relate to it
- Do you have anything to back that up? Hypersexuality, which I'd argue the OC describes, is a common symptom of ADHD
- Not it's actually a know issue with people with ADHD. I've experienced this feeling and wondered what's wrong with me. It sometimes takes therapy and time recognize real love and partnership versus the dopamine of someone new caring for you.
- It's also not exactly untrue, either.
- Also have ADHD and relate to this massively.

When I was much younger this was an issue because I'd pursue people out of loneliness, not because they were actually a good match. After we'd be together for a few weeks, the loneliness would go away, and then I'd realise that I didn't like them to begin with. Awful to do that to other people, I know.

Worked on it through therapy and overcame this behaviour.

this is kinda like having adhd where you put a shit ton of effort into overcoming the initial challenge of something and then immediately lose all interest after you've overcome the biggest hurdle and leave the project completely abandoned for the rest of eternity

I’ve accepted this is my actual hobby
- Thank you for helping me normalize this to myself by calling it a hobby

Aesop did a fable about this. It's where we get "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

Sounds like OP was focused on finding someone cute and willing to date him, than someone he genuinely clicked with and could have fun with even without sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is great and very important for couples (outside of the Ace spectrum), but I truly pity people who aren't dating their best friends.

Fuck this is me and I hate it

Get therapy or read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
- Thanks I'll check it out
Might be genetic, gotta spread them genes to new gals. Up to you if you want to admit defeat to your ancestors DNA's algorithm or take control of your own mind and body
- My ancestros were sluts

Took me until my late 20s/early 30s and four years being single before I was ready to truly commit and I've been in the same relationship for six years now.

Let yourself grow up and have fun!

Idk about you but for me this turned out to be just a weird looking fear of commitment. It felt like fomo, but once I realized what it was, it .. well, I didn't stop thinking about other girls right away, but it lost its power to make me actually lose interest in the girl I was with.

I'm still with the girl I was with when I realized all this, so, imo that's pretty meaningful.

(Fwiw I never stopped "thinking" about other girls but now it's very unreal. I've been with my wife for 15 years and the idea of going back through all that intro relationship bullshit sounds like torture -- plus, odds are, whoever she is won't be better than my wife, and, of course, it would super hurt my wife's feelings, and probably mine too, and I really like her feelings not to be hurt. Also we have kids, which raises the bar for how shitty the relationship with my wife would have to be in order to spilt up.)

Would you rather be single?

I've done this but my two relationships were shorter, with more time in between, I only thought this the second time, and instead of breaking it off myself I got dumped both times.

Only upside is I never really got 4chan.

The fun is in the chasing, not the capture

it's the process not the goal
- As you get older, the thing that's "the process" changes -- dating stops being the process, and life becomes the process. Dating just gets annoying.

You are ataru moroboshi, that's why.

Egg