What's the best type of food to eat in a shower?

I can't believe that no one has mentioned the famous shower orange yet. On Reddit there is a whole subreddit dedicated to it.
A cold orange in the shower is perfect – it's refreshing, it smells great and you don't have to deal with the usual mess of eating an orange.
- ??? The peel is what I'd consider the messy part. Are people just stomping it down the drain?
  
  The visual of someone waffle stomping an orange is top tier. Thank you.
  
  Peel before shower?
  
  You take care of that part later, I guess. The whole point of the shower orange IMO is to go primal on it and tear it open and chow down without concern for mess or eating it efficiently. Leaving the peel to pick up afterwards probably just gives the rest of your shower a nice citrus aroma.
  
  Ew, why would I want poopy oranges
- You make a persuasive argument
- Perfect indeed 🤔

Something hot in an open bowl sounds like the worst food to eat in a shower TBH.
I'd go with something cold in a tube, like an ice pop. Or maybe a beer in one of those fancy insulated tumblers with a closeable lid.
- I drink beers out of cans/bottles while showering regularly. The amount of water that gets into the can/bottle is neglible.
  
  No glass bottles please. We don’t want you to star in any internet videos of horribly disfiguring home accidents, if you slip.

For fast eating challenge try cotton candy
- Do this if you have ever wanted to identify with a raccoon.

Cured sausage. It doesn't dissolve or absorb water.
- A summer sausage in the shower is one of life's guilty pleasures.
  
  Perfect pairing with a shower beer
- A nice spicy chorizo

What the hell is wrong with people...
- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zFyUn4uL5E
  
  My question stands.
  
  The ninja has sexy eyes
- In fairness, the place isn't called "sensible questions".

Beer.
- But for safety's sake, please make sure it's into a can. :)
- If anyone has not had a shower beer you should try it!
  
  Serious question: what's up with the whole shower beer thing? I have definitely had a beer in the shower a few times in my life, which could be described as rock bottom or a really fun crazy night...
  Is it essentially glass-of-wine-in-the-bathtub selfcare?
  
  Back when I smoked I would have a beer and a cig.
  
  Is there a shower veer community somewhere on the fediverse?

I enjoy eating peaches in the shower Any messy fruit, really, but stone fruits in general.
You can just shamelessly get in there, get that nectar all over your face, and enjoy it. Probably more enjoyable if you have a beard and need to eat carefully.
I no longer drink, so this is like my shower beer now.
- What about shower oranges?
  
  Well obviously

I prefer to run a hot bath with a bunch of bouillon cubes. I bring salad and breadsticks in with me for the unlimited experience Olive Garden promises, but refuses to actually provide paying customers.
- When I was in the military, there was a dude that was disgusting. He rarely showered to the point that he had to be ordered to shower. One time, his roommates got so frustrated with him, they took the shower head off, shoved a few bullion cubes in there, and forced him to shower. The dude couldn't figure out why he smelled like chicken soup.
  
  I've always wanted to try this. It's exactly what I was thinking of.
- slaps top of bathtub this bad boy can fit so much spaghetti in it

Mangoes because you can go primal without a care
- Oh this is a great idea. You could like slice it with your eye teeth and then rip it open like a mad monke out for revenge. I feel like squatting would also give you more control as things get slippery...
  Yeah this one feels right

My next door neighbor makes meals in his shower after getting a garbage disposal installed.
- ...how do you know that?
  
  It's a Seinfeld reference.

Mango. Otherwise you just end up with a mess

Crunchwrap supreme. Next question.
- At the worst point of my life I indeed had a shower crunch wrap after a brutal graveyard shift. This is the answer.
  
  Some stores sell a little shelf for your shower crunchwraps. They have a little suction cup on them. It's a really clever design.

Grapes.

Does beer qualify as a food?
- "Beer has food value. Food has no beer value." -some t-shirt I saw once
- Guinness is food, light beers are drinks.
  
  Eh, Guinness is about the lightest stout I've ever had

A peach. I prefer to eat my oranges segment by segment, so I don’t really find them messy, but a good, ripe peach should be messy as hell.
- Is there a non segment by segment method of eating oranges?
  
  Some people like to cut slices

Most fruit seems to be a good choice IMO. Even veggies may be a decent option. Grapes maybe?
Fruit is generally waterproof, so it's not like it will taste different in the shower.
I think anything with flour is probably a bad choice. Nobody likes soggy bread/cake/whatever.
I'd also consider any kind of cheeses or cured meat. Maybe a nice meat/cheese/fruit assortment?
- Someone once said oranges are perfect for showers. Nice citrus aroma, no sticky mess from juice spray. I could see it ..
- Nobody likes soggy bread/cake/whatever.
  I'd love to introduce you to the best cake: Berry Chantilly Cake.

Can it be a bath instead of a shower?
- This is the trashiest boner I have ever had
  
  You're welcome. 😂 I think I first found this in the days of dial-up, she's probably in her 50s by now, if she hasn't died of cheese-curl-induced diverticulitis or something.
- Apple in a bath is really nice actually. Get a book, an apple, maybe a comforting beverage of your choice... it's great

Tropical fruit, so I can relive my trip to Thailand

There's the classic shower beer, and that's actually really fun. Like others said, be careful & if you want to be extra cautious, aluminum cans only or poured into a stainless steel vessel.
When I was a fat little teen, I somehow heard the idea of eating potato chips in the shower. I tried it & it was oddly satisfying. They were Ruffles. I only did it once or twice total, it would be kind of weird to do all the time.
Shower beers, however....always a good idea.

None.

Everyone saying mango because of that meme but the answer is obviously WATERMELON. It's got water right in the name and is just as messy as mangoes!

Vegetables and fruits. You'd wash them first anyway.

None
- It might help... you know - with the persistent dehydration.

BBQ on the bone - I haaate messy meals, so let's set up a table with slaw, taters and a nice rack slathered in sauce, get naked, and turn on the water.

An orange. Apparently it is a life changing experience according to a group on that other site.
- Citrus fruit in general, yeah there is something about the steaminess of the shower and the sharp sweet sourness of citrus fruit.
  PLUS you can eat whatever it is like a goddamn animal and not worry about pulp or other bits getting all over the place because you’re in the shower.

Beer.
Liquid
Calories
Uh...

Smoothies from a closed-lit container and a straw.
- sip a nice cold smoothie in a hot shower, that's perfect
- I guess most thing would be fine if it was put in a container.
  
  Not many foods are edible without exposing them to shower water while taking them out, though.

Citrus fruit.
- I was thinking apple, but now I think a mandarin might be the answer

Some scuba divers train to eat bananas underwater. I suspect that wouldn't be too bad in the shower
- …why do they train that?
  
  The potassium reacts with some of the salt water minerals to help them rapidly float to the surface if they run out of oxygen
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UILp88D3XQ

Concentrated lemonade…? 😳
You let it it dilute as you go, as per your taste.
A block of hard cheese…? 😆
It would be water resistant (waterproof) enough to last the whole shower.
That is an interesting thought experiment that never occurred to me.

Apple

This sub name fails.
- Quite the contrary. The premise is that any question, no matter how apparently silly, weird or simple deserves a proper response. "No silly questions" as in "there are no silly questions".