How do you *HOPE* you will die?

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty."
- What a beautiful quote.
  Me too, Tyrion. Me too buddy.
  
  I drink and I know things
- Imagine being that maiden and having to live with the flattering, horrifying knowledge that you sucked the last life from a dying man.

Obviously the ideal is to die under suspicious circumstances in a large house with many rooms and secret passages, a variety of potential murder weapons, and several mutually distrustful colorful characters.
- I like you.
  
  That doesnt remove you from suspicion.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my uncle, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Not likely though.

Had a heart attack recently... while waiting for surgery, asleep, they tell me my heart stopped for eight seconds.
No clue. Woke up in the morning like usual, browsing my phone when they come in and tell me.
Hopefully just like that.
- My dad died this exact same way and while doctors kept saying he didn't suffer at all because it was so quick I just thought they were being reassuring since I guess that is what they are supossed to say.
  Your comment helps me to make the burden of his passing a bit lighter. Thank you.
  
  Sorry for your loss!

Death by snu snu
- Well you probably starve to death lost in a giant space neandertal's vagina. Probably not as good as you think.
  
  Not going to lie, I’m hard right now.

Soon

I should die due to my own negligence, playing fast and loose with custom firmware for my cyber heart at the age of 300.
- Your cyber heart requires an update and needs to restart on completion. This may take a while.

Casualty of the heat death of the universe
- Entropy reaching 1.0 will take a really long time. You sure you wanna be hanging around for several quadrillion years given cosmological inflation? That’s a whole lotta nothing for a whole lotta time…
  
  I dunno about the guy you responded to, but speaking for myself, that might actually give me enough time to play through my Steam backlog.

Peacefully in my sleep, like the guy in the joke, and not like the passengers of his car.

Not at my own hand
- We gotta dream big there amigo, stay strong!

in one-on-one combat with a God while stealing something forbidden for humanity.. if that's still a thing..
- All you are going to get is tied to a rock for eternity, with an eagle feeding on your liver.
  
  Until a group of elderly men in loincloths show up and hand you a sword.

I'll never forget asking my father this question as a kid, and he answered without hesitation, "A bullet to the head." Fast-forward a few decades and that's how he went out by the firearm he carried to protect his family, causing more harm than any mugger or assailant could have caused if he was unarmed. Take care of yourself fellow lemms and dont dwell on death, focus on living a life you dont want to leave behind and keep pushing your Boulder up the hill regardless of how many times it rolls back down.
- Are you saying he shot himself, or that someone shot him with his own pistol?
  
  He shot himself.

In my sleep in 90 years.
- What about your passengers though? ;)

Just like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers
- This one.

With the heat death of the universe in some full dive vr utopia.

At age 92.
From a gunshot wound.
Fired by an outraged husband.

As peacefully and painlessly as possible. Preferably as little inconvenience to others as well. I hope to have all my affairs well in order and they better not pay money to put me in a box in the ground. I've told every family member I can. Donate what you can to others if possible and donate the rest to science for some med students to get practice.

At an old age peacefully after having a satisfying life
Preferably before neurological decline sets in as I'd prefer to not go like I've seen so many others go; forgetting the faces of their loved ones
I'd also hope that I will have left happy memories with those that would remember me after I've passed. Stories they'd love to tell people. Stories their grandkids would love to hear.
- That and other paintful things is why I am already (as a 17 year old) planning a suicide at 90 or when dementia starts (if i survive that long).
  
  I used to know a man who made it to 107
  He was fully coherent until the end
  He passed away on his own terms after his doctor told him his cancer was back in full swing and more aggressive than before.
  I still miss that old man telling his stories about growing up and then raising kids during the Great Depression. Or him talking about his older brother passing away during The Great War (WWI). Or talking about watching the moon landing with his grandkids. Or one of my favorite stories of him: how him and I used to race to the rhubarb and gooseberry pies at the restaurant I worked at.
  His wake after he passed had literally hundreds of people. He impacted so many peoples lives in a positive way.
  Stick around for awhile, you may make it longer than you think. And even in old age you may meet people who you have a massive impact on their lives.

in my sleep

Fast and painless.
- 2 Fast 2 Painless
  
  Fast & Painless: Tokyo Drift

Heroically and instantly

In my sleep when I'm old.
- …very, very old.
  FTFY.

Suicide before Alzheimers, on my own terms 🫡

Battling aliens on a different planet. Is that too much to ask for?
- Best I can do is battling cats in an alley
  
  ... but it's a really weird alley.

Slowly over the course of months hooked up to every device to keep me "alive" in the ICU because my shitty relatives can't let me go otherwise they won't get to steal my social security checks every month. /s
Or peacefully while watching the sunrise over a beautiful snow capped mountain rage.

My personal immortality testing is still in human trial but it's shown promising results so far!

The gforces I aquire after miscalculating my trajectory while testing my space engine and gaining too much momentum on my slingshot off of Jupiter.
- Easy there Epstein

Quickly. No need to drag it out for months or years.

False vacuum decay.
No pain or suffering, no worry about it coming, just instantaneous non-existence at literally the speed of light.
The big problem is it would be all of humanity (and everything else) and not just myself.
So not actually something I hope happens, just that if I have to die...
Similar would be being at the center of a large explosion or implosion - I understand that the passengers on that one submarine likely didn't have time to experience anything.
- I love the optinism of your line 'if I have to die' :)
  
  Until i die i am immortal, no one has any proof to the contrary.

As part of a destructive process of digitization.

Burning up during extravehicular re-entry

Ideally, gently and without fear but aware. Second choice, while asleep and dreaming, just step into death. I don't want to lose my mind while alive and don't want a jarring death.
Don't guess we get to choose, though. Or if we do choose it's never so gentle and fearless.
Oh I forgot to mention, if we can have literally any death and not just any possible death, I want to disincorporate exactly like Odin does in Thor Ragnarok.

Just any painless method.
Originally, my favorite was inert gas asphyxiation. Based on previously found info, it seemed like the best option, just falling asleep and dying. Of course I was aware of the main risk: running out of the inert gas and again getting oxygen. That could result in permanent severe brain damage.
However I later found even worse stuff. Veterinarians apparently stopped using this method as the animals were showing severe signs of distress, meaning that it perhaps wouldn't be as painless.
Finally, there was a nitrogen hypoxia execution in Alabama recently:
Smith appeared to remain conscious for several minutes. For at least two minutes, he appeared to shake and writhe on the gurney, sometimes pulling against the restraints. That was followed by several minutes of heavy breathing, until breathing was no longer perceptible.
Source: AP News
Thus I finally ruled this out.
- They fucked it up, he held his breath and caused himself pain because of course he didn't want to die and it's barbaric to kill people. But also, those spams that happened are after you have already lost consciousness
- There's no such thing as a nice peaceful death. I've witnessed what people medically consider the "die peacefully in your sleep". People still spasms and throw fists and kicks after losing consciousness. It usually just happens when no one is watching and lasts only for a minute or so while the brain stops working completely.
  
  Losing consciousness before feeling anything sounds peaceful to me
- Yeah, maybe don't take the utterly sadistic version designed by cruel people for maximum suffering, as a reference for how things normally work.
  The only legal solution to commit assisted suicide, in Switzerland, uses nitrogen hypoxia for a reason.
  As a matter of fact, the founder of exit international even flew to Florida before Christmas, as an attempt to stop the execution. Coming from a fervent supporter of people's right "to be able to plan for the end of their life in a way that is reliable, peaceful & at a time of their choosing", that should tell you everything you need to know about the execution. It was made horrible, purposely.

In debt, in love and a bit drunk.
I don't know whos that is, but it's the best. But more in line with the question : I want to see it come. That is my wish.

I want to be killed by beautiful woman. I would like to die in her arms.
- By snu-snu?

As the Vandals said, "If we all go at once we don't have to say goodbye."

Completely unaware of my impending fate, in some way that my cats will have uninterrupted care.
- So, in your sleep and then they eat your face while they wait for housekeeping?
  
  If my cats eat me after I'm dead, what do I care? And I've actually discussed this with my friends and they know I'm okay with it and not to blame the cats.

I hope I won't! I know it's unrealistic, but this is my hope.

Soon.
- Hey, dark humor is fun, but are you doing ok?
  
  Um, not really. I have a good support network and Healthcare. I'm just real tired, you know?

Cardiac arrest in my sleep somewhere between 60 and 70.
- Same, but a few decades later.

Peacefully, with all my mental faculties at the ripe old age of 1,834.

I'm taken out by truck-kun so I can reincarnate

In a way that destroys my brain instantly.
I literally don't care about anything else I just don't want to feel any pain.

Quietly, peacefully, and when I'm ready. All my experience of death has been unpleasant and traumatic, and I'd really like mine to just be ok. I know it's a lot to hope for though.

I want to live a long and happy life, accomplish as much as I could expect to and love generously...
...and then that one scene from Final Destination 2 with the falling pane of glass.

Instant death aneurysm or quick heart attack.

When I’m good and fucking ready.

Meteorite.
Like, just cruising along and then a meteorite no bigger than a pebble randomly selects me to be their target, obliterating me on the spot. Hopefully in a crowded public place to get the biggest reaction.
That shit would be hilarious.
- Like the TV show Dead Like Me, although she was obliterated by a de-orbiting toilet from Mir space station breaking up
  
  That show was excellent.

Rogue planet colliding with Earth.

Soon

I don't know how, but I hope I die better than I've lived.

Last night would have been great, had the best ending possible.
Like, as long as it is quick and riding a high.

Fast.
My father spent his last years in a hospital, gradually getting weaker and weaker. After two years he decided enough was enough and refused food, water or medicine. He had so little fat on his body at that point that it only took three days to starve himself into a coma and then death. I helped the funeral director move his body out to her van. He'd been in a foetal position so long we couldn't unbend him to lie flat on the trolley.
Actually, I'd like to amend that. Fast and in bed with a pair of 19-year old twins.

At the same time as my wife after my daughter has established herself and no longer needs us. I don't want to be here, but they need me right now. As soon as they don't, I'm out.
- Your children will always need you.
  
  I hope not, because that ruins my plan.

Instantly somehow. Or in some kind of heroic last stand situation.