Trump Launches $399 Gold Sneaker Brand A Day After $355 Million Verdict Against Him
Former President Donald Trump hawked his new Trump-branded sneakers at “Sneaker Con,” a gathering that bills itself as the “The Greatest Sneaker Show On Earth!”.
I hope every customer is looked into. All of his side projects smell like money laundering operations to me.
Like the $99 NFTs that you could only buy 100 of, conveniently falling just short of the IRS reporting threshold?
"Well, Judge, I purchased each pair at such a high price because my client, Mr. Ivan Oligarchsky, believed them to actually be solid gold and has no desire to return them."
"What's that? Oh, yes, the same is true of Sam Saudi, the other party I represented. He is also satisfied and would just like this whole thing to go away."
"As to my own culpability in assisting this alleged, ALLEGED, skirting of political fundraising guidelines (we don't like the term 'laws') I was acting as a broker for the rightful President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, so I declare immunity."
"Yes, I have seen The Office, why do you ask?"
"Mostly livestock law, you know 'was it coyotes or the damn Hendersons', but I have done some real estate for family. It's a small town. Very conservative. Not much call for lawyering."
I'm kind of naive and gullible. I'm a little embarrassed I hadn't considered this perspective. It seems so obvious now that you point it out for us.
The best use for them:
Bush sucked, but I've always respected his ability to dodge a shoe.
Fighter pilot reflexes
The dudes issue was that he wasnt prepared for that matrix-dodge. Bowing down for the other shoe telegraphed his next move so obviously
Finally, a good use for deep fakes. I need a gold Trump shoe being tossed at Jr, Stat.
Christ alive, this grifter was the president of the united states
Christ alive, this grifter has a realistic chance of becoming President again.
They should use this picture as his official presidential portrait.
Grifter in Chief
Except now he owes nearly half a billion in judgements against him. :-D
You know, for a supposed billionaire, this guy sure does get into some weird grifting. You don't see Bezos or Gates or Buffett or even Elmo doing this kind of thing...
Most powerful country in the world elects fraudulent shoe salesman.
To be fair he wasn't a shoe salesman the first time we elected him.
I'm imagining a depressing future.
Sneakers made by CIC Ventures and those NFTs were made by CIC Digital... He just can't get over that he's no longer Commander In Chief.
Clownshoes. Literally 🤡
I can’t wait to wear mine to church with my 24K gold WWJD bracelet, diamond-studded rosary, and t-shirt with a camel waltzing through the eye of a needle on it. Gonna look so fresh.
Ok but now I want that shirt
This is going to make his campaign rallies fucking fabulous. Armies of chuds wearing red hats and shiny gold shoes descending on whatever hee-haw hellscape is hosting Chudcon that week.
The signs reading "SNEAKERHEADS LOVE TRUMP" really just comfirms my opinion of most sneakerheads.
The sole is way too thin and there’s virtually no padding on the upper ankle. Also, you’ll have to lace them up the whole way every time like blazers, I’d imagine – just judging by the profile.
I dont know what he’s going on about. Those shoes are about as thinly made and unsupportive as his source material.
I hear they give you bonespurs.
What makes me chuckle about sneakerheads is I bet many of them look down their noses at people that collect(ed) beanie babies. I've got some bad news for them...
Hopefully he soon launches a fashion brand I hear orange jumpsuits are in these days
Trump last year reported making between $100,000 and $1 million for a series of digital trading cards
nfts?
yep. aka a plausible way to jam Russian money into his pockets in return for future favors without leaving an obvious trail
It looks like the shoes Al Bundy invented
I am sure more will be sold than manufactured
Trump’s pair, American size 9.5. Bigly small.
For all of my youth I wore size 10. I wore this because my step-father wore 10.5 and there was no way I had bigger feet than him. So, for 10 years I wore shoes that were way too small for me. Now, as an adult, I wear size 12 in most brands and wouldn't you know it, I don't have to deal with debilitating foot pain. People are fucking weird about shoe sizes.
I hear yeah, but I also know that Trump would get really pissed if people didn’t think he had big strong feet. Look at how he handles the tiny hands stuff.
Dumbass could have just sold one shoe for $355 million
Nah fam. Shoes for $1 each. Laces are $180M each.
And this isn’t an onion article?
Lol he didn't have the balls to charge $500. Even MechWarrior Online did that, they sold $500 gold mechs in a free to play game.
What's next? MyPillows?
He'll only need to sell 1.25 million of them.
Would you like to look like White Trash? Well, we have the sneakers for you! Only $399.99
these things are gaudy, garish, and look super cheap.
who exactly are these things for? I'm sure there are a few magat sneakerheads but not enough to bring even a niche product to market.
I do know even at $400 a pop not enough are going to move to put a dent in that almost half billion in judgements he owes in new york.
You've almost answered your own question.
Tip: most will be sold to international buyers.
Seems appropriate: https://youtu.be/zq7Eki5EZ8o
I don't think anybody is going to wear these.
I bet more than a few Crazy Uncle Libertys are popping chubbies over the idea of wearing them.
