11mo ago

Lactose intolerant rule

111 comments

I knew this guy. He always wanted to suck my Schlong or f with me. Told him i ain't gay. He replied he neither, he just finds vaginas disgusting (Women in general, Vaginas just being the "most disgusting" part) and schlongs beautiful, hence it's not gay at all. He just prefers guys coz they have said dingdongs.
Told him that was somehow very gay. He got really really really pissed at me for hinting he might be gay. He hates gays and find them repulsive. It was at this point that i realized, he verbally held me hostage. How to reply to that? I didn't know.
EDIT: That wasn't a joke or satire, he was dead-serious about it. That level of cognitive dissonance is hard to find, even in religious people :-)
- Ask him if looking in a mirror scares him
  
  I wonder if he beats himself up after jerking off because he just gave some homo a handy
  
  I can't. We didn't recover from me somehow voicing his gayness might be a teeny bit gay.
- The question that now comes to my mind: What is gay exactly? Is this specifically just when you like dicks? Or are also looks coming into okay here?
  Are you also gay if you like people who look like women but have a penis? If yes, are you then straight if you prefer people that look like men but have a vagina?
  Afaik there are also people that have both. If you fall in love with them without having ever seen their genitals, are you then still automatically gay?
  Never thought about that before tbh.
  
  Sexuality is a spectrum. Gay is more of a vibe than a science.
  
  The age old question of do the traps be, in fact, gay
  To which the answer is that there is no gay, no straight, nothing makes any fucking sense, everyone is bisexual (or asexual) but also there is no bisexuality (or asexuality)
  
  Sucking a cock doesn’t make you gay. Only wanting to suck dicks and finding women unattractive and NBs unappealing? Yeah, you might be pretty gay. But if you just want to fuck with the occasional dick sometimes? You’re not gay. There are a million different variations that don’t make you gay. Some of them involve penises, sure.
  
  Well in his case it wasn't just the dick itself. Women were "disgusting". So the dick needed to be attached to a manly man.
  What exactly is gay? To me it's when a manly man likes manly men. If you'd fall in love with a woman and THEN see her male genitals, it wouldn't be gay. She just was an ass to not tell you earlier 😁 If you'd see both genitals or none, it wouldn't be either. And yes, there always have been those with both or none.
- This begs the question (possibly a stupid question on my part since I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic): if he had a genital preference for wangs, and a sexual preference for trans women, would he in fact be considered straight, or is there another classification for this?
  
  Dude, i honestly don't know if a guy liking an mtf-trans with a dong is considered gay. I would prefer said mtf-trans-with-dong over a manly-man-with-vayajay. I consider myself straight. If i HAD to choose which of those only 2 alternatives would be more attractive. So I'd guess it's more the person/gender than the primary genital. But what do i know :-)
  
  I think it's the difference of preference for gender presentation vs preference of genitalia
- Solution: girldick
  
  Nah, he disliked woman in general, the vagina was just the "most disgusting" part beside the tatas :-)
- here's the thing, there is a perceived idea that being gay means that you fit into "gay culture" and all the aesthetic ideas that go along with it, which is not exactly what's real (at least, this is my perception as a mostly straight ally).
  So these guys think, I don't like the way the sterotype of a gay person behaves in my head. I don't belong in that group of people. Sure I want to suck a dick, but I don't want to go see a drag show or act like a woman (not my opinion here) so I'm not gay. I just want to jerk off with my buds.
  that's why they had to come up with the definition of MSM. People basically think "gay? I'm not gay! I fucked Jim in the ass yesterday, but that doesn't mean I'm gay."
  onion article that's kinda related to what I'm trying to express : https://www.theonion.com/gay-pride-parade-sets-mainstream-acceptance-of-gays-bac-1819566014
  "My understanding was that gay people are just like everybody else–decent, hard-working people who care about their communities and have loving, committed relationships," Weber said. "But, after this terrifying spectacle, I don't want them teaching my kids or living in my neighborhood."
  basically this
- Either he was a closeted gay or a closeted time traveler from Ancient Greece
  
  Based on the lack of evidence for the latter, my money would be on the prior 😁
- Sounds like that one guy in Ozark.
  
  Lol, yeah kinda like him 😂

There are men that present as straight, have wives, and occasionally engage in gay sex.
- I believe those are called "republicans".
  
  Ungh, perfection.
- Yeah bisexual men claiming to be straight isn’t new
  
  most people are probably bisexual anyways, i mean back in ye olden days anything with a hole was prone to penetration because society accepted it (don't ask about lesbian sex tho)
- This is why the term “Men who have sex with Men” or MSM was coined. Trying to study the spread of HIV/AIDS was impossible before that because these men don’t identify as gay.
  
  I have had more "straight" guys send me dick picks and ask if we can hook up (at my place, obviously) than I can count.
- I think Ice-T has something so say about this
  
  What did I miss?
- I wonder how many of them have little to no sexual or romantic interest in persons presenting as their gender? Like, I'm trying to mentally map someone who likes to engage in sexual activities with someone of the same gender and yet only really have an attraction to a part of that gender, rather than be attracted to the entirety of the person as many of us are.
  There's gotta be a legitimate term for this.
  
  I like dicks a lot more than dudes in general, I think. Dudes still kinda hot but dicks are aweaome. I just go by bi, pan might be more appropriate? Idk. Whatever
  
  I’m heteroromantic and pansexual, if that’s what you mean. I’m down to have sex and attracted sexually to people, regardless of their gender, but I don’t want to date women. I don’t get butterflies about women (maybe once or twice in my life), and I just don’t have the romantic pull towards them that I do men.
  My husband is actually about the same. He’s never dated or really wanted to date men, but he does enjoy having sex with them. He tends to just identify as bi (as do I, if I’m not being really specific), but also rarely volunteers any information about it, which most people assume means straight, especially given he has a wife.

Lactose curious is a thing, one of my coworkers will have dairy on special occasions and plans for the aftermath
- Just use lactase. No reason to Plan for the aftermath
  
  Using the beforemath to avoid the aftermath!
  
  And to make it relevant, just close your eyes. You can’t be sure it was a man’s penis or butt or mouth. No need for any questions about your sexuality in the morning.
  
  It hurts to have so much gas build up but man is it fun to make giga farts after downing a pot of ice-cream

A few colleagues would make drinking games of shenanigans like this.
I even know couples who have set up tinders for each other and see who can get the most matches or starters.
It may indirectly affect the other users experiences unfortunately.
- Indirectly?
  
  Well I would assume most people using these apps knows not every match or conversation will go somewhere.
  Theres also a massive difference to be upfront like the meme, and dragging it out and leading them on.
  If you are just looking for likes or matches, where’s the harm in that?
- I even know couples who have set up tinders for each other and see who can get the most matches or starters.
  Sounds healthy. I can’t see how this could ever go wrong /s
  
  Loser pays for dinner that week. It’s called trust lmfao.

I've ran into cis women on Grindr. My mom called them the super non-PC term "fag hags." That's the bad F word for those on Lemmy World cuz I'm pretty sure that word is censored on that instance.
- I'm on Lemmy World and I can see it too.
- I've heard that and fruit flies.
  
  fruit flies
  I like that one. lol
- Lemmy.world censors only “faggot” and the N word. Lemmy.ml censors “bitch” and various slurs. I believe their users can still see comments with these words in (?), though the censored words are removed if they post them themselves
  
  Am I missing something? I have absolutely no idea what you guys are talking about.
  Is there a slur somewhere in this post or the comment section? And TIL that Lemmy communities can censor words. I’m from blahaj.zone btw
  
  What was "removed"?
  
  feddit.uk doesn't censor anything at the moment, because I accidentally broke the slur regex.
  Normally, users from censored instances can still see rude words, they just get removed "in flight" if they try to post anywhere.
  
  So they censor removed and not fag. That makes zero sense lol.
  
  I just assumed it also censored the shorter form, since I ran into that before when quoting Martin from The Simpsons. I was wrong.
- The non-offensive word I have seen used for a person who seeks out relationships with homosexual people despite being the opposite gender is “beard”. This is derived from the fact that it helps the male in the relationship present outwardly as a “real man” with a “normal relationship” in settings/societies where homosexuality is not considered acceptable to one degree or another. Also, sometimes homosexual couples of opposite genders will “beard” for each other in a mutually-beneficial dynamic.
  edit: it seems spoiler text doesn’t work right on a lot of mobile apps, including voyager. Anyways: watch For All Mankind. It’s great.
  
  I'm not sure they're actually the same thing tho. Beards are used by gay men to seem straight. The term my mom used was against the women who just had a fetish for gay men.
  
  Also, sometimes homosexual couples of opposite genders will “beard” for each other in a mutually-beneficial dynamic.
  My parents had some friends who did exactly this for Prom since every attendee was required to have an opposite-sex date. They met the requirement to go through the front door then promptly split and found their actual date for the night (or their friend group if they were single)
- I see it.
- "I'll light a fag everytime I think of you."
  "Oh Buster, you're such a pussy"
- http://fag-hag.urbanup.com/686399
- what, are you federated from lemmy.world and being salty?
  
  No I just ran into people asking me what the removed word was in a previous comment.

Definitely bi, or the autist in me wants to believe this man is lonely for male companionship/friendship and doesn’t know where to get it

Plot twist: they're bisexual

Fag Hag?

Is he wrong?
- Yes, they'll arrest you for that in Wisconsin.
  
  Fucking Sconnies. Culver's vegetarian burger option is a cheese puck, which sounds great but in reality an impossible burger would taste better. But it's Culver's and they're all about the cheese. I've stopped eating there because the whole thing feels like an insult in a way and I feel like a fat ass if I just order a large cheese curd and fries.
- I mean swiping grindr while not being gay is like you're lactose intolerant while picking non-lactose-free milk.
  
  I mean, I do that.
  But I have these little chewable pills that help with that.

111 comments