Also the sheer level of sadism that comes out in a relationships story about infidelity
Everything short of admitting to fantasizing about murdering the cheater gets you called a doormat these days, and victims of very concerted deception efforts get called idiots for being deceived.
I remember an Ask Reddit for people that cheated. Most of them were in an abusive or manipulative relationship of some kind, yet most still felt guilty for acting out. Some chose to cheat and be caught because everything else they tried to get away hadn't worked—obviiusly even that didn't work in some cases.
Yeah but those aren't usually the people who get the reddit stories specifically about them,
Honestly I think that explains the phenomenon, it's a reporter effect, everyone lashes out so hard at cheaters because the ones they hear about aren't deliberately trying to escape a toxic relationship, they're selfish and narcissistic or lead into that mindset enough to destroy someone else's life over it.
Honestly I just think it's a sign that we need more supporting resources available to people, like state run shelters and stuff, because not being able to find security if they leave is what traps so many people in abusive relationships to begin with.
everyone knows, there's a certain amount of fucking around you get for free. the real problem is that the finding out part can happen quick, and seem to come out of nowhere.