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I'm sorry to hear that. You deserve as much as anyone, you're not unlovable. I wish I could help you, but I'm not too good at this, or knowing what to say.
I've been suicidal before, and while I haven't experienced anything like that, I can assure you that life changes for the better for people all the time, even if it doesn't seem like it will. You're not stuck. There's a lot of coldness in this world, but there's also people you can meet if you put yourself out there. The other comment you got was sort of toxic, but they're right in that if you put effort in it doesn't have to be like that.
I'd also recommend looking for community resources, local counselors, and maybe using a texting crisis line, like this. Idk about lemmy but there's also probably a lot of productive mental health forums you can find all over the internet, for people with similar experiences that might be able to help you out better.
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Ok, I would recommend texting lines and other online services instead of a counselor. I also think finding productive forums for this could help you out (places with actual support, not places that will make you feel worse).
Don't ever assure someone in a bad position that it'll get better.
I didn’t though. I said “life changes for the better for people all the time,” even people in extreme lifelong conditions like yours. I didn’t assure you anything will get better. I just meant it’s possible and attainable if you work towards it. That might be hard in your current state, but I don’t think it’s impossible. There’s a ton of good people out there. I’d hug you right now if I could.
Disability programs in the US are fucking criminal and support programs are actively being dismantled everywhere I look around me. If you need to vent, I’m an open pair of ears.
Why? This life is such a gift and every day is a chance to change what you don't like about it. Invest some time and effort into it. You have the power to turn life into anything you want and you are just going to throw it away? Quit whining and put in work. This whole "poor me" shtick is lame. A hug is a two way street. How many times have you put yourself out there to receive a hug? Be a hugger. Offer. I went to a 40th birthday party for my friend lastnight which I don't go out much.... I hugged every person that I hadn't seen for 20 years. Every person hugged me back. Do something for yourself and for other people and stop expecting MFs to make it happen for you. Damn.
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There are plenty of people out there that are disabled that are a force for good and positivity. Don't give me that shit. I was an alcoholic, I was abused by my father, sexually abused by a young man, I have ptsd, depression anxiety, I refused to accept that I would lead a miserable life any more. You do what you can to change the situation. I'm sorry you are disabled, I'm sorry you are depressed but those things don't have to define you. That defeatist mindstate you are stuck in is what makes people avoid you, not the fact that you have a fucking cane. Jesus, cry me a river, you act like you are the only person who ever had a problem in life. Pick yourself the fuck up and keep trying to better your situation. Seek out medications to fix your depression. Do something besides sitting on the internet having a fucking pity party for yourself.
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Lol yeah I purposely picked those specific things to make up. Please.