Wallace Shawn Emerges As Frontrunner To Replace Daniel Craig As James Bond

I'd watch the ever loving fuck out of this.
- It's a 2-hour long dialogue between Bond (played by Wallace Shawn) and a villainous billionaire media mogul Fryston Gallibre (played by Peter Capaldi) who is trying to collapse western democracy through ever more bland homogenized remakes of beloved franchises.
  In the end, Fryston realizes that Bond has never seen any of these movies or shows and isn't really a fanboy of anything so he is immune to this assault on culture. Bond actually leaves confused and when trying to explain the whole thing back at the office he stops mid-sentence and asks the widowed Mrs. Money Penny (Judi Dench) If she'd like to go see a movie together, "apparently they're quite popular!"
  
  My Dinner with Bond.
  
  Can’t wait for those action figures.
  
  Buddy.you dream too much... Keep at it!
- I was gonna say same. Give him all kinds of crazy gadgets but make him super serious.
- “But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the martini in front of me.”
- Jaymth Bond!

You know this is an Onion article because the real frontrunner for the role of James Bond is going to be, like every other role, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.
- Maybe they just ain’t your thing but Casino Royale is really fucking good
  
  The people have spoken, so give the people what they want.
- You know at first I thought this account was a joke, but it's been months and it's still going on. Honestly I'm convinced
  
  it's really her !
- Seriously though, there's a potentially great reboot opportunity there..
  It would have to be very intelligently written to avoid the "reboot with women protagonist" clichés/pitfalls, the fact that 007 is a woman would have to strike just the right tone.. misogyny would probably need to be faced with a good dose of "ok boomer" smirking, it would absolutely have to pass the Bechdel test..
  But yea, that would be the first James Bond I'd go see in 2 decades, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.
- See, I was gonna say Chris Pratt. He seems to be everywhere recently...
  
  It's-a me, James Bond.
- Margopratt Reynolds.
  
  Lose the Pratt and I’m in
- And, if the villain were played by esteemed character actress Margot Martindale...
  It'll never happen, because they'd just have to pack up the Academy of Motion Pictures and go home, because it'd be all downhill after that film.
- 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️7️⃣

You Fell Victim to One of the Classic Blunders

Inconceivable!

Rule of Acquisition 300: If you've got it, flaunt it.

Inconceivable!

After seeing his performance in My Dinner with Andre (1981), casting director Janet Hirshenson was so fond of his delivery of the word "inconceivable" that she cast him as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987).
dude got the job because of that line. no wonder its iconic
- That movie is also why she cast André the Giant as his sidekick after falling victim to one of the classic blunders.

Inconvenience
- I do not think that word means what you think it means.
  
  Inconsolable?

inconceivable!

The ultimate spy is the one you'd never expect.
- No one would expect a person who announces their full name everywhere they go to be a spy!
  
  So I clearly can't choose the wine in front of me!
- 007: The Spy You Didn't Expect
  
  007 The Inconceivable Agent

I could see him playing Q
- I've been looking at too many Trek memes, because my mind immediately pictured the wrong Q character.
  But also yes.
  
  Who says they aren't the same character?
  
  I thought the same, but he would actually be great in both roles
  
  wait, what other Q is there? I feel like he'd be excellent at playing the Q who ducks with Picard

Yes please!

Oh, and we could have an X-men crossover with Danny DiVito as Wolverine.

c/nottheonion, surely?
- If it were a couple decades ago I would've believed it, but Wallace Shawn is literally 80 years old.
- Maybe they're testing the waters as a joke first.
  ...unless?

He's got my vote.

Ok but can he play Bond AND Batman? If not I’d rather he take Batman because the franchise needs to finally be perfected.

I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.
A creative casting for a roll of a traditionally beautiful person.
Do you know how many watch ads and car commercials they would miss out on.
No, the next bond will be filmed like the latest marvel garbage. So evenly lit that you’d think it was a commercial with how clean it looks.
- a good parody bond film
  Hey, at least we have Austin Powers!
  
  Oh gosh. Freaking classics.
  Imagine if they made those today. Like not another remake or sequel but like actually made them nowadays. Or Wayne’s World?
  I just don’t see it happening without it falling completely flat due to executives being tone deaf shills.
  That whole part about mocking the paid ads would just be a paid advertising segment.
  
  Austin Powers was such a successful parody it's the REASON they rebooted the Bondiverse with Daniel Craig as a more grounded Bond, and IMO
  <insert Professor Hulk absolute win gif here>
  .
  
  I forget the name of it, but didn't Steve Carell also play a parody of a spy?
- I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.
  You mean like Get Smart, or Johnny English, or Top Secret, or the David Niven Casino Royale, or Spy, or Spy Hard, or The Man Who Knew Too Little, or True Lies, or Leonard Part 6, or I Spy, or Spies Like Us, or Spy Dad, or The Spy Next Door, or The Spy Who Dumped Me, or The Brothers Grimsby, or SPYS, or Code Name: The Cleaner, or Austin Powers?
  Hollywood fucking loves making parody James Bond films, and some of them are occasionally good.
  
  Yeah they sure like to beat dead horses.
  Austin Power, Johnny English and Get Smart would fall under good enough to watch.
  The rest is studio executives wanting some of that cake.

I dunno what happens to actors when they play James Bond, but they tend to physically fall apart afterwards. Daniel Craig somehow looks like he's 80 now
- Casino Royale was 17 years ago and he was already almost 40 then.
- Someone already mentioned Craig so I'm going over the rest.
  Brosnan was 48? during his last Bond movie and I think he looked good in The November Man, which was 10 years after his last Bond movie. He's 70 now so obviously he looks like shit now.
  Dalton looked great in Hot Fuzz and that was almost 20 years after his Bond movies. Dalton is nearing 80 so he also obviously looks like shit now.
  Moore, if I did my math right, was almost 60 when he Bond career ended. I have no idea what he did after Bond but when you stop being Bond at his age it shouldn't come as a surprise if you physically fall off.
  And then we have Connery who had a long career after Bond.
  I'd say it's been mostly Craig who has "fallen apart" but I also think he bulked up for Bond and it took a toll because he pushed beyond his natural physique (he was much leaner before Bond).

Wallace Shawn is based
https://youtu.be/JvhPP6zHnsw

The article title names three persons who I do not know. Considering I am unfamiliar with these persons or their names, should I be interested at all in this article?