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My trick is to simply jam my fingers into my eyes and aggressively rub them whenever they twitch.
Doesn't work but I'll never give up I'm pretty sure abusing my own eyeballs is what I'm supposed to do
This is how you end up with astigmatism. Don't rub your eyes like this.
I appreciate your concern but reckless self-destructive tendencies are my hobby
Okay well the fix costs thousands of dollars, takes time and can be unfun if they have to start slicing into your eyeballs, but good luck.
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