Better learn his polearms if he wants to be a guard. That's a halberd, not a spear.
102 1 ReplyThis is my knifey guard stick. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My knifey guard stick is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my knifey guard stick is useless. Without my knifey guard stick, I am useless.
34 0 ReplyThis is my knifey guard stick
This is my gun
My knifey guard stick is for stabbing
My gun is for fun
8 0 Reply
22 0 ReplyLet's just call it unidentified poleaxe.
Still not a spear though.
7 0 Reply
Yes but is it the pro model? What's the TOS on something like this?
6 0 Reply
51 0 ReplyDrumroll.......
14 0 ReplyHey!
4 0 Reply
43 1 Reply"I've fought MUDCRABS more fearsome than you!"
13 0 ReplyI saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures.
7 0 Reply
REMEMBER THE EMPEROR! HUAHUA
7 0 Reply
Men only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting.
32 1 ReplyACAB even castle guards <3
30 7 ReplyACGAB
31 0 ReplyA castle guard once stabbed my hound when he busted a serf for heresy next door.
17 0 Reply
Just wait until a player character comes along and cuts your head off for lulz. Then you won't be so happy with your choices.
20 0 Replyplayers are the worst
12 0 Reply(quicksaves)
7 0 ReplyLil murder hobos.
5 0 Reply
Also fun fact, you'd be a firefighter.
19 0 ReplyIt does sound like a chill job.
16 0 ReplyMore like super boring until you get stabbed.
14 0 ReplyYou're supposed to do the stabbing. If you get stabbed then you weren't a good guard.
11 0 ReplyBoredom and chillness are two sides of the same coin. It all depends on how you take it
10 0 Reply
Leering at wenches
But why?
15 1 Replyseems like you might not cut it as a castle guard
48 1 ReplyFair enough. I would've made a terrible cop, too.
9 0 Reply
There were a lot of good jobs back then. Did you know people used to pay you to pick up their shit? Now you got to pay them for it. Future sucks.
10 1 ReplyI mean, you still pay people to do that?
3 0 Replyany old iron
any old iron
any any any old iron
you look sweet
talk about a treat
you look dapper from yer napper to yer feet
dressed in style
brand new tile
Wi yer fathers old green tie on
but I wouldn't give yer tuppance for your old watch chain
old iron
old iron
1 0 ReplyNah na na na na na. Nah na na na na na. How's your father? Alright.
1 0 Reply
"I used be an army officer till I took an arrow to the knee"
8 0 ReplyUntil you get an arrow in your back.
7 0 ReplyOr the knee
2 0 Reply
Renaissance faires are awesome btw
7 0 ReplyDid you used to be an adventurer like me?
7 0 ReplyMore honest living to be a wench than a guard.
6 1 ReplyYou can still get a job as a security guard today.
5 0 Reply3 0 ReplyFOR THE KING!
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2 0 Reply
Same.
2 0 Reply