The "scheming master and duplicitous apprentice" matches my view of the classic scene from Empire Strikes Back in which Palpatine tells Vader that the best plan is to bring Luke over to the Dark Side.
Both of them know about the Rule of Two, and both know that the other knows. When they agree that bringing Luke on board is best they are each telling the other "and then he and I are going to kill you and take over." They each think they're going to come out on top, and they each think the other guy thinks that they will come out on top, and both of them left the meeting chuckling over how foolish the other one was to think that.
That last one is solid.
I think they're all pretty solid, but my favorite is and will always be "My Warlock Patron is my overbearing mom who rediscovered me and is desperately trying to embody what a mom is, with no context for what any of it means, or what "age appropriate" means".
"Mom, I told you I need more than two spell slots. The wizard has 15 per long rest."
"But I'm giving you more every short rest."
"Nobody short rests. Could you be more out of touch?"
That's a great one too.
