Therapy
Therapy
142 comments
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Sounds like a form of therapy in and of itself.
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Sharing your enjoyment with others. Work you can take pride in. Preserving history. Sounds pretty great for mental health.
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And probably cheaper.
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Yeah, I was gonna say that these men DID go to therapy.
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That was my thought.
Men got themselves a hobby they enjoy, and gets to share with others. Two amazing things for someones overall mental health. Sounds like someone living the dream.
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Yeah, most people today meed therapy because they feel isolated from their work, unappreciated, and are stressed about finances. A hobby where you work towards a common goal with no real world consequences is what most people need in their life right now. ~~~~
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Honestly, if you think about it, therapy did kind of replace the support structures formed in tight knit communities...
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OR, they’ve already been through therapy and found some decent medication, and are keenly aware that personally enjoyable hobbies are an essential part of self care.
Not that I know anything about that.
- throws food into back yard koi pond *
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I want a koi pond to use their poop to fertilize my gardens, any tips or resources for a newbie?
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I have no information to offer. I just want to say that koi ponds are beautiful, and I wish you the best of luck.
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Oh boy, where to start. I’d say first, read up on the nitrogen cycle because that’s the most important part of filtration. Read up on KH (carbonate hardness too).
Then make sure you’re going to have more filtration than you need.
When designing the pond, keep predators in mind. I’m a fan of making the sides go straight down, and having the whole pond be deep. No places to walk into the water.
Plus, that kind of design means more water volume. More water volume means either more fish, or more stable water parameters and more room to grow. And along the same lines, build it to be as big as will fit! It’s a big cliche in the hobby that it’s never big enough, and here I am this year upgrading my ~3000 gal pond that’s 30” deep, to 6000+ gallons and about 5 feet deep.
If you install a bottom drain in the pond (recommended) gravity fed to a settling tank before it gets to the pump, you could vacuum all the fish poop out of that and get the majority of it very easily.
For the pond liner, you want 45 mil EPDM rubber. It is kind of expensive, but it is the standard for a reason.
And that’s not all the information obviously, but I think I’ve run out of steam, lol. I enjoy spreading the love with this hobby though, so please message me with future questions.
Edit to add: look up photos of bogs for ponds. They can be part of your filtration, but you can also plant a bunch of plants in it and the ones that can handle the wet roots will grow like crazy, eating nitrates and other nutrients directly from the water.
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Why would someone assume these people needed therapy in the first place?
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because men are bad, and women are good.
and the only way for men to get good is to spend $1000s of dollars talking to therapists, who are predominantly women.
or maybe... the apparatus of therapy is woman-biased and therefore it negates and legitimatizes men's emotions and their expression. and the positive things men do in the world with their emotions must be shame and ridicule because they should submit to our belief that talk-therapy is the only legitimate form of emotional outlet...
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You can flip that around and suggest that it's normal and accepted for men to put effort into a hobby as a mental release, and this should be perfectly fine for women as well, but sometimes it's not amd they are in the past seen as weird, abnormal, or hysterical for having interests.
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Ok buddy, I think you pushed it a bit too far...
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You realize you can just get a male therapist right?
They do exist and a lot of them will relate to male emotional expression where it isn't just outright toxic.
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The vast, vast majority of men (in the US, can't speak to other cultures) need therapy. Just getting over internalized phobias is something the entire culture needs. Really, everyone needs therapy at some point and very few have a chance to get it, and fewer take it.
But in regards to this meme: men tend to need therapy more. The patriarchy (what society pushes as male "culture") heavily represses emotional expressions and few men have an outlet to talk to their friends or family about their feelings. This leads to a lot of repressed emotions, lashing out, etc.
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These guys are not lashing out, though. There is no discernable connection between somebody taking an interest in trains and avoiding therapy lol
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Really, everyone needs therapy at some point
What we need is a society and environment that aligns with human nature.
Yes, I'm in therapy and I take meds. But I sure as fuck didn't need any therapy and meds during the 6 months I worked as a hiking and horseback riding guide in a Provincial Park in British Columbia. -
i think it's less that men need therapy, though older men, particularly those above 30 probably do, the problem with young men right now is not therapy, it's a lack of societal engagement from them, presumably because society doesn't really know what to do with them, or doesn't really understand how to deal with shifting tides.
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As a mental health worker, if a client got involved with something like this, I'd be thrilled. This sounds like it provides purpose and community to all involved. Good for them!
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I actually agree with you in many aspects. Something new that is being taught in therapy training is that we have to be aware of systemic issues that are contributing to someone's mental health.
Example: someone is suicidal and feeling hopeless. Do they have clinical major depressive disorder? Maybe, but if we ask "how are your finances doing?" And they say they work full time at Walmart and get paid $10 per hour and have 3 kids... Yeah it makes sense why they feel helpless and suicidal.
For this reason, therapists and mental health workers have a duty to advocate for progressive social policies.
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It would be like if were constantly maiming and injuring people and saying the problem was not enough people going to physical therapy.
In that I kind of agree with you. Many problems can be traced back to societal issues. Hell is other people. That's why we need to do better.
Sending those, damaged by society, to therapy is necessary, but we wouldn't be there if several root causes wouldn't exist.Like if we just took blackrock's real estate and put homeless people in it the mental health crisis would just be like 80% solved. I'm not even kidding.
Oversimplification, imo. But this is surely a contributing factor.
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In one of my psych courses the professor noted a study (not sure of the source, this was closing in on twenty years ago now) that while psychotherapy had pretty good efficacy for certain things, it was equivalent with "talk openly with your friends about it" in most metrics. A therapist is great for providing specific strategies to address particular challenges (for issues like PTSD, for example, a therapist can help to manage an exposure therapy approach) but after a point you're kinda just paying through the nose for somebody to professionally emulate you having a healthy friendship with a well-adjusted person.
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That is therapy
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Doing something you enjoy ✅
Doing something with a community ✅
Doing something different to your normal routine ✅
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I've witnessed these old boys hanging out tinkering and chatting. The best kind of therapy.
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No offense to you, but I definitely don't think this will address quite a few things that therapy can.
If all you are suffering from is a lack of direction in life, then this absolutely will help. You could even see improvements in social anxiety and social aptitude.
Anger problems, though? Alexithymia? Chronic episodes of mental dissociation? I don't think working on the train crew's gonna help
At the same time, It's definitely been conjected that therapy is mostly woman-focused and isn't as effective for men for various reasons. That kind of lines up with a few of my previous therapists, who felt like worthless experiences for me. I have heard of some new therapy styles implemented in certain places, though, that do sound to be genuinely helpful to dudes.
Edit: "social anxiety and social anxiety" woops
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You make a decent point and illustrate by your "woman-focused" that there is a decided lack of professional therapists geared to male issues. This is why we have learned to find inner peace through creative activities. It lets us focus on the task instead of stewing on things over which we have little if any effect or control
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That is a hobby. A lovely one, but still a hobby. That is not therapy.
I'm not saying you can't gain insights into yourself or situations while doing that. It can most definitely help and be therapeutic. But therapy it is not
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SO FUCKING WHAT?!?!? DO I NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO HAVE A FUCKING HOBBY, YOUR MAJESTY??? JESUS CHRIST!!! (smashing noises and incoherent yelling from garage)
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People will bitch about anything someone else does that is therapeutic for them.
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Learning to not do this was an important part of my mental health journey. I’ve come to realize I was raised by some very negative people. Very nice people that I see regularly, but always looking for something to complain about rather than something to appreciate.
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I understand this to some extent. I however wasn't raised by nice people. When I cut contact with them I got better and discovered I didn't have to like something someone else did for it to be good for them.
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fuck you, coal fired steam boilers, and steam engines are one of the coolest, and most technologically impressive things we have ever done throughout history. Only topped by the deep space probes currently hurtling to the middle of nowhere spaceland.
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IDK, you hear about sliced bread? It's pretty nice.
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Nope. Good bread basically never comes in slices, and definitely not in the country that invented pre-sliced bread. You can get passable sliced bread in Germany but the good stuff definitely stays loaves at least until you buy it. I mean it's fine to slice it then and there if you have enough mouths to feed to have it finished by tomorrow.
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slice bread is also pretty good. But that's nothing compared to what a steam engine can do given a bread slicer.
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Presliced bread goes bad quicker and I also prefer a different slice thickness than what is usually offered. I don’t understand why it’s seen as such an achievement.
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I used to bring up that Diane Feinstein was older than sliced bread to point out her age... but now it's hard to say she is older. Need a new politician to rag on.
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Have You heard about portable outhouses? God's gift to humanity!
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that and hit or miss engines
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idk man, i hate combustion based engines. They're cringe and unfunny.
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Having a hobby and being part of a community is a very constructive, helpful, and effective way of beating back the isolation and despair that is killing so many young people.
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Sorry, they can't hear you over all the CHOOO CHOOOO MOTHERFUCKEEEEEERRRR!!!
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CRANKIN STEAMY HOGS WITH THE PACK
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Who says instead? Seems like people with their heads on right
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I think that's pretty cool, seems like a net positive for everyone, guy loves trains..guy fixes train...shares passion with community...more people love train. He wins, train wins, community wins.
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No one wants to work, which is clearly a human trait despite the fact we do work like this constantly, across the board, for fun
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Yeah, if I didn't have to spend time on a job, I'd spend some of that free time volunteering with habitat for humanity to build houses. I love doing that kind of shit.
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What a weird fuckin take
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Yeah, like you could say the exact same thing about gardening or painting or knitting. Taking up a hobby and learning how to do something can be really relaxing and beneficial to your mental health. Gender has nothing to do with it.
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It is what it is
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Is this a reference from another post today?
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YOLO
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I'd take that post over the bear.
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They dodge depression by doing something that brings joy to their hearts instead of constantly complaining about how depressed they are and how therapy is essential for everyone these days? How dare they!
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It also preserves History.
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Everyone who does thing different from me literally has the emotional maturity of a toddler.
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– A Toddler, 2024
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I make off decently with how much my company pays for insurance. Would I rather have full universal health care though? You bet your ass
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This format seems to always frame therapy as shitty, and the other thing as actually really cool, if complicated.
I doubt it's intentional, but seems anti men's mental health. And honestly, that situation is so fucked up beyond measure, that micro-aggressions like this meme format is really hurting the cause. My two cents.
Funny meme though.
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Someone else here linked to knowyourmeme.
Most of them are glaringly obvious, some are meta. This one though can easily come across as "stuff closeted misandrists say to get a pat on the back" if you don't know the format. Flanked by a good dose of nerd shaming.
I mean it's true, men will literally comment on the internet before going to therapy. We will also literally tie our shoelaces before going to therapy.
You know what, this is a good thing. This time actually reading the knowyourmeme article, they're a parody reaction thing. Some 20, 30 years ago a new pattern of insult cropped up here in Germany, things like Warmduscher and Schattenparker, "someone who takes warm showers", "someone who parks in the shadow". They were never meant literally-literally, but they did come up with a definite air of "you should be toughing it out", "being a bit sensitive about things aren't we". They were quickly balanced out by things like Drahtseilbungeespringer, roughly "steel cable bungee jumper".
Humour is serious business and usually the best weapon against shittiness we have, and if occasionally we have things that can be misinterpreted, like here, overall it's still worth it.
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I'm not following. Why is it being assumed this is to avoid therapy, and not just people doing an activity for fun?
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Because man bad/woman bad
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It's a meme, guys.
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You know what is better than crying and taking mind altering drugs? Not needing either.
I know this is a joke post (at least I really hope it is) but why are some women so against men being happy? Like they want do to everything in their power to take away "guy stuff" it's not enough that they don't have to go. But the fact they don't like it means that no one else should and men are wrong because they do something women don't.
I strongly believe that men's mental health is positively impacted by male groups. But women don't want men to have male groups. Women can obviously! That goes without saying. But men. No, not allowed they should be ashamed of themselves.
I think it's a really issue in society and you never ever hear women criticise women's role in negatively impacting men. But somehow I bet this is all the patriarchy's fault
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I dont even know how you got the upvotes this post has, but this is just crazy talk!
Maybe you only know women who are bad people
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Of course they are. The point is it is normalised and that's the issue.
Women telling men what they should do, what they shouldn't do, how everything in their life is other men's fault and no one else's. All perfectly acceptable.
If we want men to be happier mentally we should start by asking men what they need. What we shouldn't do is get women to tell then what they need. Also women need to take responsibility for the negative things they do, why should they get a free pass to mistreat people? Just because they aren't "part of the patriarchy"?
Like I seen this the other day. Some guy talking about what makes him happy and he gets told he's sad for doing it.
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/ZwELEUQKcwkpvdVc/?mibextid=xCPwDs
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(EDIT: misread and therefore misinterpreted the parent comment. Thought, it was a generalisation on all women. Striked out relevant sections here.)
but why are some women so against men being happy?
"They" aren't.Like they want do to everything in their power to take away "guy stuff"
"They" don't.But the fact they don't like it means that no one else should and men are wrong because they do something women don't.
That's a bizarre perception you have there.I strongly believe that men's mental health is positively impacted by male groups.
Having a supportive peer group, regardless of gender, can be helpful, yes.
No, not allowed they should be ashamed of themselves.
Where tf do you get that from?I think it's a really issue in society and you never ever hear women criticise women's role in negatively impacting men. But somehow I bet this is all the patriarchy's fault
Are you mixing two different things now? Feminism and men's mental health?
Regarding the latter, patriarchy is not necessarily a cause for this. It's rather male role models and toxic masculinity. Countless of men worldwide are raised in a way which is unhealthy for their mental state. "Don't cry! That's what girls do! Don't be such a baby!" Those men don't learn how to deal with their issues and emotions. They develop several kinds of problems as a result of that. Either a drug addiction problem like drinking, and/or spiraling down depression until they kill themselves, get anger issues or whatever. The suicide rate in men is higher as in women due to stuff like that. They have never learned that it's okay to ask for help. They are rather being shamed for feeling low.
That's what this post makes a pun about: a lot of such men rather find some coping mechanisms instead of dealing with their issues. They seek distractions. That's not necessarily a bad thing per se, but, in the larger scale of seeing how many men avoid dealing with their shit, it can certainly become one.
It's certainly not about women wanting to take "guy stuff" away, wtf. Oo-
Where I come from men's clubs are illegal. So yes, like it or not it's already been proven to have happened.
I like how you think know what all women have ever done though. My housemates was telling that what me and the members of our rugby club get up to at our own private bar, singing, drinking and fucking about with each other isn't okay. That although we are all their voluntarily and they we all very much enjoy it, and its good for our mental health, it shouldn't be allowed. In fact she said if it was up to her a lot of sport would be banned.
Here's a genuine question. Why do you, my housemates, other women think they know absolutely what is best for mental mental health when it goes against what men even say?
I've got a lot more support from men than I have from women. And I've seen guys get a lot more hurtful abuse from women than I have from men. But that goes against the narrative that all issues in the world are caused by the patriarchy and that women can do no wrong.
If the suicide rate is so high for men maybe we should start by asking men what they need? How would having women telling them everything that they have done wrong a good thing?
What women cannot understand is men are different to women. We act in a different way to you and that's perfectly okay. What is not okay is women telling men how they need to act.
Also if you want to do a bit of reading go find all the questions on the internet to the effect of "why don't you open up to your girlfriend" and you can hear all the horrific ways women use men's vulnerability against them. You can see the general consensus being that more often than not opening up to women makes things worse because of how women react to a vulnerable man and that if you need to talk about problems do it with men.
But again that goes against the feminist argument that men's issues are only to do with toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. But lol what do men know about their issues own issues? Nothing.
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And get more out of it too
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Just gonna link this, for the oblivious among us: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/instead-of-going-to-therapy
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I ride my bike. It's great for just switching off. The weather is normally pretty awful where I am but in the sun in the summer it's amazing.
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Hang on I'm going to need some help here I appear to have got myself into a logical loop.
I'm not depressed so I can't play with trains but now I'm sad that I can't play with trains. So I can play with trains? But now I'm not depressed anymore. So I guess I have to stop? Which makes me sad.
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