Lavatory paper, toilet tissue, bog roll, bumwad, arse wipe, shit tickets; we all need it but I can't find a good one for a reasonable price.
Obviously I don't want the tracing paper you get in a public toilet, but it seems a waste to pay for the quadruple-velvet perfume-soaked premium nonsense. Supermarket own brand is soft enough but tends to fall apart. Who Gives A Crap is environmentally friendly but their basic stuff disintegrates immediately and their premium stuff is even more expensive than the fancy Andrex.
Costco toilet rolls are the superior product, my friends. Trouble is you get something like 48 rolls in a wholesale packet - so you need somewhere to stash them.
Just buy a garden shed and fill it with bog roll. The next time there's a pandemic, sell it to Australians as individual rolls for 10x market value. Like a sort of strategic reserve.
I go with quilted. Not artisinal, hand-crafted, 8-ply quilted with a 3000 thread count of Egyptian cotton, but... heh... wait for it... bog standard supermarket own brand quilted. See what I did there? No? I'll let myself out.