Unlike the instance you're posting from, blahaj is defederated from hexbear and lemmygrad.
Maybe don't post private DMs without consent or at the very least notification, especially when you're doing so to hold a trans instance up to standards of trans inclusion that your own instance doesn't meet.
I hope our instance is a welcoming space for trans and other lgbq2s+ folks, but it's true they have to abide by our instance rules just like everyone else. And I fully agree with you on the private comment note.
Isn't the whole reason of moving away from ML because their admins are abusing their powers to enforce pro-Russia and pro-China political stances by banning people?