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Message from blahaj.zone

Neopronouns are not trolling

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20091173

I've been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.

So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you're unfamiliar with. It's true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren't only to be respected when you like the person you're interacting with, or if their pronouns "make sense" to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn't matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.

I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.

This isn't a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it's not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.

66 comments

  • i don't mind what people call themselves and I'll use it to refer to them if I notice it, but they shouldn't expect their pronoun to be understood if it's something obscure

  • I did not realize that typing exclusively in third-person, and pushing something that is obviously kink-related onto internet strangers was umm... not trolling?

    I feel like the troll that does this gives people who fantasize about dragons a bad name, not to mention people who use neopronouns, for various non-trolling reasons, that usually hold some kind of personal meaning. Expression is complicated, but holy goddamn bollucks, third-person shitposting to try to bait people who didn't read a bio into "misgendering" bans is asinine and takes validity from people who could use it. I don't see how any mods have gone along with this "muh third-person antagonistic ranting means victimhood" shit.

    Whatever tho, I guess every individual user is supposed to independently block an asshat who tells people to commit suicide, because they are so very super-special.... I hope this place doesn't get tossed into dot world over this, ugh.

    • Whatever tho, I guess every individual user is supposed to independently block an asshat who tells people to commit suicide,

      The message clearly and categorically states the rules still apply, and that behaviour is what gets actioned. Literally nothing about the post says that someone using neopronouns is otherwise exempt from the rules. If someone is telling someone to kill themselves, report it or DM it to a community mod.

  • Most of the time I don't ask people their pronouns in public I just tend to use "they/them" until I overhear someone saying their actual pronouns then'll use them.

    As for here on Lemmy I just look at their pronouns in the bio or just don't use pronouns at all in my comments.

    I respect everyone and if I make a mistake that's okay and I'll refer to them with the correct pronouns.

  • Great! Definitely have my respect for standing up to gatekeeping. Gatekeeping has no place in a trans community. Be who you want. Anyone telling you you can't should be luigi'd to somewhere more fitting them. Allies not enemies.

66 comments