Sometimes the preparation to the meditation - that is, reminding of the four guidelines, going through the six points, and easing attention from the periphery, sounds, body sensations, breath sensations in totality, and the sensations at the tip of the nose - feels slippery.

I can't hold onto the preparation and I find myself already with the breath at the tip of the nose when going through the six points, like the breath is already at the background, or maybe even the preparation is at the background, not sure.

A review of Carnevil, a rails shooter, is provided for demonstration purposes. Yes, my mind sometimes feels like an evil carnival.

About two years ago the first jhana appeared in a session for a few moments. It was like stepping on a high voltage conduit of joy. At the time almost each session had access concentration.

Several bad things happened after that period of time and now I am struggling with the lowest of the Elephant Path stages.

Just sharing / venting. I don't know how you could help except for reiterating "do what is right for the stage you are in as written in The Mind Illuminated".

I have found an accountability partner and we are reading Culadasa's The Mind Illuminated. I am also trying to have a few shorter sessions per day, each 20-30min long.

Thank you for reading.

They always seemed to me to be in the same neighborhood of meaning.

I would love having here different answers from different people because these words seem to be carrying a lot of meaning.

It was based around Culadasa's The Mind Illuninated. I don't know exactly what I want to say, just that I am struggling to get back practicing. I have some background issues concerning mental health.

Any recommendations for a virtual server provider, kind of like the smallest Digital Ocean server (and that price range), but one that even Stallman would approve, or at least not vehemently reject?