It's an abridged version of the "in this essay I will..." trope

I get that. Where is the irony? I think to be ironic there needs to be some air of unexpectedness. I certainly think it's amusing to say that you were buffing a nerf gun, but maybe not unexpected

But I think Alanis Morissette would be on board

Why is that ironic?

That man is a treasure

We do what we want, because we can

Needle was right there

Pretty sure it's matte in the US, too

Everyone knows there's no such thing as leftover crack

Where can you really draw the line? Could you survive in space without any air or equipment? Even if you could, where did the equipment and air come from?

Photosynthetic organisms are for all practical purposes part of your lungs

Behold, a human being.

I mean yes, no one, human or turtle, can survive without the ecosystem of the earth, so you could really argue that the planet is the true organism and we are simply byproducts of its existence

What part of the second statement is wrong? A turtle cannot survive without its shell, just like you could not survive without your skull. It is an intrinsic part of what allows it to function as a living organism, therefore the line between "turtle" and "shell" is a bit blurred

What part of you makes you? Is it just your brain?

Anyway, I think what they're getting at is that the shell is actually their spine, not like some extra thing that grows on top of their spine.

And so was born the unfortunately named Epstein drive

Or sport?

Hey everyone, this guy doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells!

Did a killer bee write this?

More construction options

Ah, yes. The "reapers"

I love Android Not Chrome. You can install uBlock Origin on it, which kicks ass