betterdeadthanreddit @ betterdeadthanreddit @lemmy.world

An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.

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2 yr. ago

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It only needs to be up there until the contestant has a chance to remove it off-camera.

Hope she's got a good plastic surgeon's business card tucked away in her wallet, I know how this story ends.

Safety operator was trying to eliminate the witness.

It's the "everything's okay" alarm, it goes off every three seconds so you know everything's okay.

He's from Oklahoma, not sure whether they've achieved hyphen technology yet.

Got me wondering how a name like that happens. His mom couldn't decide which of two uncles to name him after... So she didn't.

His first name is a tribute to two of his paternal uncles, Mark and Wayne; his mother put both names on his birth certificate, intending to later shorten his name to one of the two, but ultimately never did.

Source: Wikipedia entry

So much dog to pet, I don't care that it's an eldritch horror.

Also known as a Freudian slip.

At least now they can focus on super totally real stuff like chemtrails and radar weather manipulation systems.

Sorry Maryland, too busy building gulags.

Yeah but they've got the market cornered on Catholic priests, that's gotta count for something.

His longevity may be attributed to a simple misinterpretation: "That is not dead which can eternal lie".

It's either season creep or retailers don't think we're going to make it through fall so they're dumping products ahead of schedule.

Probably helps that it's the fucking iPhone rather than the doing taxes iPhone. It is comparatively less likely (though not impossible) to become pregnant as a result of doing taxes.

In any case, I'm conflicted on this one. I'm not a fan of ads that are intrusive in their targeting or display methods but that may be a lesser evil compared to OOP reproducing.

Easy mistake but Brett "I Like Beer (and Raping)" Kavanaugh is the one doing all the chugging.

Berk

Tea-drinker slang for "fool". The name fits.

Everything is already a mockery of what it's supposed to be, why the hell not.

Dawt emm ell.

He wants to keep their "wonderful secret" times together special.

Hey.