Shitty MC Suggestions

You know that long-awaited update to 1.19? Yeah, let's sneak in some half-baked attempt to kill dupes that literally nobody asked for. Maybe the backlash will get so bad we'll have no choice but to backtrack later.

It sets you on fire and makes any flammable blocks catch fire

Hello, friends! In order to bring a new layer of depth and engagement to players who use redstone contraptions, we are implementing a few changes to how redstone affects the environment.

• All redstone-activated devices now emit a new pollution particle that decreases the air quality around it. This pollution makes all living things, including you, in the area sick after a period of extended exposure.
• To help players manage pollution, new blocks are added: Pipes, Filters, Air Quality Sensors, and Redstone Catalytic Reductors.
• Look out for exciting new weather cycles! Smog, Acid Rain, Acid Snow, and Flesh-melting Sludge Storms. Don't forget: the more your world's ozone layer depletes, the easier you can obtain the Sunburned, Dehydrated, and S L U D G E D status effects!
• If pollution isn't properly controlled, an area may obtain a Toxic air quality status. At this point, new special gear is needed: Hazmat Suit, Gas Mask, and n o th i n g c a n s a v e y o u f r om t h e s l u d ge.
• Remember, if your suit starts taking damage, that means the air status has reached Noxious and you need to craft a remote-controlled BIO-Rover to enter the area for you.
• Lastly, players can expect new mobs that form in areas with high pollution or Sludge biomes: Acid Zombies, Nuclear Creepers, Apocalypse Skeletons, and Sludge Goblins.

Thank you for reading. We hope this update gives players an exciting new opportunity to feel more connected with the worlds they create. Stay tuned for Pollution updates in the Nether and the End coming soon!

They explode when rained on or when they come into contact with water or enter a jungle biome (humidity), and drop bananas when killed

Your worlds start out with normal biomes and climates. But as more and more items are smelted using coal or charcoal, the save’s Overworld dimension will gradually change over time like so:

• Grass in plains biomes will get browner and browner (and eventually die altogether
• Corals in warm ocean biomes start dying
• Rains become shorter and less frequent
• River levels slowly drop
• Snowy mountains become windswept hill biomes and all the snowy taigas become regular taigas (and then burst into flame of course)
• A new weather effect will be added called “heatwave”. During this, all the small water bodies will evaporate, grass and farmland blocks start randomly converting into coarse dirt (rip cpu lol) and you will catch fire if exposed to sunlight without a helmet, much like zombies and skeletons.

The only way to stop all of this is to completely stop using coal or any wood-based fuels, and instead switch to using things like kelp blocks, blaze rods and lava. Once you’ve done that, you can start removing the excess carbon dioxide from the air by spamming trees everywhere; as you do this you’ll notice everything start going back to normal- but you better not plant too many or you’ll get an ice age.

You can do it once in the current world, without any option to go back to the player form. You just get stuck foverer as a block.

Because those computers have no WINDOWS lmao

If you played on a mac or linux pc and a world had glass panes in it before the update, they will be replaced with a new block called the “BSOD”, which has an aquamarine texture with a sideways sad face on each side. Trying to break or build on this block gives you a beach ball of death followed by a transparent kernel panic screen of death for macs, and a black log screen of death for linux PCs.

And remove apples from the windows and linux versions too

ROLL BACK 1.16!!!!!!!11111!!!1! I FUCKING HATE CHANGE! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE NEW NETHER!!! IT WAS PERFECT AS A CAVERNOUS, ENDLESS MASS OF LAVA AND NETHERRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOHOOHOO NOSTALGIA NOSTALGIA

HERE IS WHY:

Nether wood FUCKING SUCKS because it takes away the challenges of the Nether! If you run out of resources, why face the consequences and make a zillion trips to the Overworld (like we did in the Good Old Days™) when you can just go into those fucking forests and chop wood despite it being impossible to make charcoal from it or use it as fuel NOOOOOOO! Nether stone FUCKING SUCKS because see above!!! Netherite FUCKING SUCKS because:

Its name FUCKING SUCKS Its lavaproof-ness makes lava pools a DUMB DUMB JOKE because why scream at your computer screen and chuck a brick at it in rage when you can just fish out your god tools???/? DIAMOND IS NO LONGER SPECIAL AND IS NOW FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE NETHERITE REPLACED IT DESPITE THE FACT THAT EVERY SINGLE NETHERITE TOOL IN SURVIVAL WAS BY DEFINITION ONCE MADE OF DIAMOND AT SOME POINT IN ITS PRODUCT LIFESPAN NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRESS F FOR SAD DIAMOND MAN BoOhOoHoO THEY KILLED THE ZOMBIE PIGMAN BY RECHRISTENING AND RETEXTURING HIM AND MAKING HIM SCARED OF BLUE TORCHES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOooooooOoooOoOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!1!1!!!!!!11!!!! BoOoOoOoOoOhOoOoOoOoOoHoOoOo!!!! What has this update done to muh special orange fire????///????/?!!!1! It is NO LONGER SPECIAL and is FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE SOUL FIRE REPLACED IT NOOO! Alive piglins FUCKING SUCK because their trades for obsidian, iron, and gravel take away the challenge of getting trapped in the Nether for-fucking-ever and the challenge of needing to go back to the Overworld just for glass bottles and fire-res potions and create a legal dirt dupe for skyblockers NOOOOOOOO!!!! This update is NOT MuH kAyV uHpDaYt!!!!1!111!!!!! 100% of the community (believe it! honest!) said "we want this update whose features we can't even provide you with any meaningful suggestions for!" but Mojang said "He'Re'S a NeThEr BeD" HOW FUCKING DARE THEY???/??/? This update should be replaced with it!!!!!1!!!111!!!!!1!!! SHRIEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!111!!!! A TRANS PERSON MADE THE MUSIC!!!!!!! THAT MAKES THE UPDATE 1000000000000009999999% WORSE, BECAUSE IT GOES AGAINST WHAT MY GOD NOTCH WOULD WANT FOR THE GAME!!!!!11!!!!1! Notch good Jeb bad PC PC PC forced diversity forced diversity help help we're being oppressed... if only GamerGate were still around...