JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless
JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless
Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance was being provided urgent medical care today after he found out that the man used to justify his party’s policy positions was a single, childless, unemployed hippie with two dads.
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According to a story from The Christian Science Monitor, authors of the book, "The Lost Gospel," say they have uncovered a manuscript that details the marriage between Jesus and Mary Magdalene that produce two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.
Manasseh and Ephraim.
I read his son's names translated as Jacob and James, named after their father and after their dead uncle, but also a first-born daughter Tamarah.
Eventually his family migrated slowly to settle in northern Spain. You want some sang-real, go there, Indy.
Pretty sure at least one of his descendants ended up in Illinois.
You’re right. That’s how it reads. I read the names in another article years ago, but I’m not sure where.
Edit: Not that it matters, but I found it. It’s referencing the same article, so it was probably editor or web scraping bot error.
Who’s his mom, according to that text?
Jesus’s mother Mary is not Mary Magdalene. They were two different people. Neither Mary (Maryam, Mariam, Myriam) had a traditional last name. Mary Magdalene, meaning Mary from Magdala, was referred to as a repentant sinner that Jesus defended and befriended in the New Testament.
https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/who-is-mary-magdalene
Were Jesus and Mags banging?
According to the Lost Gospel, yes. There’s also plenty of evidence in the New Testament that Mary was deeply committed to Jesus. She famously stood with the Virgin Mary and witnessed Jesus’s crucifixion and burial, and then later wept at his tomb.
You offer good insight, also I like your username
Thanks. I’m a dog person too, so right back at ya.
Very interesting, even though the theory has been dismissed. Thanks!