What is the safest way for a partially disabled person in the USA to use prison for food and shelter as an alternative to dying homeless in a gutter on a cold rainy night?
Best thing to do is sell a coke dealer some Bitcoin, then use that money to buy some more Bitcoin from a friend. Don't rat anyone out when you get caught.
It depends on the amounts, but that'll get you federal time for money laundering and conspiracy.
That's what Chris Boden did. Of course, he was dealing with thousands of dollars. Several thousand.