Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?
Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?
Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.
I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.
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It gets easier to ask relevant questions when you have some experience in those things.
Regarding vacations, I like to ask about the nature of sights in the area. I'm not interested in what food was in the buffet or how many pools were at the hotel, but I would like to know if the area has anything of interest.
For people having babies, I like to ask questions about how they're going to handle it, just to check if they are on top of the situation or if they need help with anything.
Yeah, but this is what troubles me. It’s not that I don’t know what’s expected of me in these situations - I know how to play the game. I’m just not interested in it.
I do try to think about whether there’s anything even remotely interesting about what’s happened to them, and if so, I’ll ask about that. But in many cases, there’s not. Unless their vacation was to a place like North Korea, the most interesting part to me is what kind of plane they flew on and whether they found the baggage carousel mesmerizing.
Well I mean, I am interested in knowing the things I ask. It's not just politeness.
Vacations are expensive. I appreciate any first hand information on places that I might potentially go to.
I already have kids, so my interest is mainly in sharing my own experiences to anyone willing to listen.