Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?
Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?
Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.
I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.
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I, for one, absolutely LOVE it when people talk about things that excite them. I ask questions because I want to see them get even more excited or passionate. I would honestly be hurt by someone like the OP, only pretending to be interested, because then with no follow up questions or anything, I would assume the conversation is going nowhere and would probably stop even trying to interact with them.
I specifically wont pretend to be interested. You'll notice that I'm not - that's why I wont ask in the first place.
I think I'm a bit like you since I do that too. Everyone (even at work) knows that I don't want to see baby pictures and I'm not excited about a baby. I don't think much about having kids but parents usually really really love their kids immediately, even before they are born, and if they are close friend or family then I am ok vibing with that for their sake.
The only time I've actually felt positively about it is when my best friend told me they were having a baby. It took me a moment but I thought then felt that I was able to be happy because he was happy and his partner (who I also like) is happy, and then it took me a few days of thinking about it that part of me was also picking up on this excitement because I wonder what my best friends kid will be like. And it's only because I care about him and his life a lot. I'm not close to my sister and have never felt those feelings before about babies/parents.