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I don’t think Anon is considering the set of all possible cute girlfriends or lending them enough agency. I think it’s somewhat reasonable if you’re app dating to assume that people are doing some amount of maximizing cute + interesting or something similar but I think that’s because the apps encourage people to gamify dating.
Anecdotally I’ve seen a ton of…erm…normatively mismatched couples form and find success in other contexts like dive bars, pick up soccer, chatrooms, kink communities, boardgame cafes, more traditional dating sites etc. Again anecdotally these relationships seem to skew (normatively) in the guy’s favor more often than the gal’s as far as looks and personality go despite the fact that complaints like this come more often from men.
what would be these more traditional dating sites you've mentioned?
3 of the couples I had in mind when I mentioned traditional dating sites used Match.com (between 2015 and 2022 in their mid 20s to mid 30s) and 1 couple each around the same time period/age demographic on specific religion dating sites (catholic chemistry and christian mingle)
thanks, ill probably never use it but i was just really curious cause i didnt know any dating site that wasnt tinder or some knockoff of it
They're mostly owned by match, including tinder. So I wouldn't trust them either personally.
oh well