Fun fact about spice tolerance. Many people think tolerance = resistance but that's not the case. After a certain point, people who love spicy foods report the same levels of spiciness compared to those who don't regularly eat it, it's just that they are used to it and even like it. So something that is a 10/10 spicy is the same level of spicy for everyone, it's just some masochists prefer it to be that way.
So when people say things like "oh that wasn't that spicy" it still usually is spicy. Their personality just prefers it that way so it doesn't bother them as much.
Every now and again I crave sweat inducing, tear rolling spice, it does hurt and it is spicy but somehow I get a buzz out of it... Kinda bizzare really.
Genetics play a bit of a factor and your taste buds do develop more as you get older. But if you're comparing tongue for tongue, the tingly/pain sensations are rated to be more or less the same.