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Wait, the paramedics have to let you tell them about what you did?!
Well, I know somebody who is going to suffer a self-pleasure related injury this weekend and go into excruciating detail with the paramedics...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
They'll just keep giving you shots of Ambien until you stop.
This is shaping up to be an awesome weekend!
Masturbating Ambien Zombies.
Now that is something you don't see every day.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
The downside of a full nights of rest?
They would more likely give you ketamine, the date rape drug. Wank is over immediately and you won't remember anything.
Having not done anything more serious than alcohol and weed, ketamine is a date rape drug? I thought it was just another kind of high...
googles
Hmm, yeah, I can see it used for that.
You wouldn't be the first. Just don't start masturbating when you're in the back and we're kosher
That's fair.
Can I at least finish masturbating in the back on the way to the hospital if I already started when you got here, though?
As long as you follow rules 1 and 2 I think we can make an exception