Should you apologize to someone you ghosted before if there is a chance you might run into them?
Should you apologize to someone you ghosted before if there is a chance you might run into them?
Say you went out on like 2 dates and said person was too clingy and you ghost em, now you might have to face them due to work. Apologize or not? And if apologize, do it preemptively or upon meeting?
Also generally as a moral stance should you??
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This is correct. I’m sure the woman has moved on at this point but she definitely remembers. A simple “sorry, ghosting you wasn’t right” will go a long way.
Not trying to start anything, but I find it interesting that you've made an assumption OP's talking about a woman. Reason it stood out to me out is that we're currently doing a lot of training at work about removing our unconscious biases.
Like I said, not trying to start something - just find it interesting.
OP refers to her as “she” in another comment.
Ah - didn't spot that. Cheers for pointing it out.
Tell that to every woman I've ever dated/matched with. I am autistic so social norms confound me and I really have no idea what I did to piss them off.
Yeah, I think you have to acknowledge it or they'll feel (at best) incredibly awkward the whole time. Don't make a big deal of it though - say you're "sorry you ghosted her and no-one deserves that. If she wants to talk about it then you're willing, but otherwise won't mention it again".
Honestly, no one deserves to be ghosted
Really? Because I've had to do it for my own safety.
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Telling them it’s over and you’ve involved the local law enforcement might be better to force them to understand it’s over.
Cops don't do jack shit where I live.
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I agree with parts of this, but don’t know how to put this delicately: this is a very reasonable opinion to hold if you aren’t in the position that most of your dating partners could relatively easily kill you.
I think ghosting should only be done in the case of safety concerns (in which case, I agree, you’re not thinking about work awkwardness), but waiting until someone’s hit you is suicidal. In the case of, let’s say, a 25 year old woman, she’s statistically likely to have been getting harassed in public for more than a decade, and likely has a good idea about when something feels off. It’s not reasonable to expect her to initiate a conversation that the other person might take as an attack if it feels like it’s not safe to do so. With unstable people, simply becoming less interesting to them, by responding less and less can be a safer way to end things than by provoking them.
Disclaimer: I’m not suggesting that only heterosexual men are violent in relationships and only heterosexual women are abused. I am saying that due to standard phenotypic differences, this type of violence is most likely to be catastrophic even in small doses. I’m a large woman (178 cm/5’10”), and taller than my fiancé, but when he cracks my back, for example, it’s very clear to me that he could squeeze me to death without too much trouble. My sister played rugby for a decade and did martial arts for several years, she’s strong as fuck. She used to wait a month or two to spar with her new male teammates, because an untrained but relatively fit man would generally be able to accidentally seriously injure her. This got way off topic, sorry.
TL;DR: waiting until a person has hit you is too long to wait when that one hit can be fatal