What weird idioms/phrases does your language have?
In Finnish we have "kissanristiäiset" (literally means a cat's christening), which means some trivial and meaningless celebration/event.
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This is a broad format, but I like the American English formula of "Well, blank my blank and call me a blank!" to express "oh wow, I did not expect that!"
Typically in my experience, it is pretty vulgar. Eg: "well, slap my ass and call me a bitch!"
Well suck my twat and call me cumquat
adopted
Well, smoke my toads and call me a squid-squab!
Well suck my twat and call me a cumquat