Newly-elected Speaker Mike Johnson gave Americans a glimpse of his "worldview" on Thursday night while fielding a question about homophobic remarks he made.
If only we could have this conversation happen then:
Chapter and verse! I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important, ‘cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean: Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
You see. You're not reading it right. Trust me, because I know better then the other 100,000,000 people who have thoughts on Christianity.
Edit:
How do I know my interpretation is right?! Well God has entered my body and filled me with his righteousness. His love fills me with a passion that brings me to my knees, in worship. I have tasted his body and consumed his bodily fluids. I am his bride and am bound as his slave.
Taking all the God stuff out of the equation, I've always been puzzled by the garment thing. Given context of ancient time, low levels of sanitation, and lack of preservation, I can see some merit to some of the dietary stuff. But the garment thing. I've got nothing.
Edit: Quick Google search suggests only priests could wear dual material garments, so it was some weird social hierarchy thing.