There is not a single society without police that doesn't oppress it's children and women.
That's simply not true. Counterexamples:
The CNT/FAI in 1930s Cathalonia
Anarchist Ukraine after the1918 revolution
The Zapatistas
Many pre-colonial native American tribes, e.g. The Wendat
Pretty much any immediate-return hunter gatherer people, e.g. the Hadza or the Pygmy
The only thing that is stopping them from enforcing their believes is that the country I live in decided that it is wrong to treat people that way and to enforce this believe they have laws and police.
So, if a country can "decide" this, why can't a community "decide" it? We both know that there are bucket loads of precedents of countries oppressing minorities both in the past and now. So obviously, a state doesn't guarantee that people aren't oppressed. I'd even claim that most countries still oppress their children (to raise them as "productive" workers).
I don't want to have to fit in to be free
You have to do so today. If you don't notice that, that's because you fit in.
and I don't want to be scared of my neighbours all the time.
Ever heard of racism in the police? And you claim that I don't acknowledge my privileges.
Anarchists just seem like a bunch of spoiled privileged people to me who's only concern is that someone doesn't allow them to consume drugs or whatever. I just wish they'd try living in a place without these structures in place for a while they privilege off but don't acknowledge.
Anarchists are acutely aware of the injustices that don't harm them directly. One rallying cry is "no one is free until we all are free" after all.
Cute, you know and admitted your examples are dogshit but don't retract them and get they to sit on a high horse. Hilarious. You are why people don't tend to respect anyone who even vaguely mentions anarchism.
Each of your examples I looked up and there is either not eboug information about them to make these judgements or there is vague information that refutes your claims.
For example:
CNT/FAI had and used prisons.
In anarchist Ukraine you had the so called Black Guards which acted similar to police and they had groups like Black Banner and general tried to overpower each other all the time.
In the region reigned by Zapatistas the Mexican Army and National Guard's handle crime with Zapatistas even claiming they don't do enough and should do more against the violent crime there.
Wendat have hierarchical structures with a Grand Chief and a Chief of each family.
So, if a country can “decide” this, why can’t a community “decide” it?
I don't say they can't. I say they can't do it without some form of police who enforces the rules they decided on in some way.
Ever heard of racism in the police? And you claim that I don’t acknowledge my privileges.
What makes you believe a smaller group of people is less racist? I'd say it's the other way around.
You have to do so today. If you don’t notice that, that’s because you fit in.
I very much do not fit in. And everytime someone helped me in the past it was police or some other state infrastructure. Definitely not my neighbours who would probably just cast me out as a burden.