Former religious lemmings, what made you quit religion or stop being a believer?
Former religious lemmings, what made you quit religion or stop being a believer?
Mostly trying to relate.
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I was raised Mormon. Mormonism is somewhat unique in that it claims to have a modern prophet and leadership that are directly led by god, and it strongly encourages members to pray to god and ask god for confirmation that this is true. Mormons are also taught that god would not allow their prophet to lead them astray, and that your local leaders are also inspired by god in what they do in their official capacity.
I was a missionary when shit started to break. I had a nervous breakdown; I am on the autism spectrum (although that diagnosis wasn't available at that time; it was almost 30 years ago, back in DSM-III), and being a missionary was a lot too much for me for many, many reasons. I became suicidal. My leaders--again, people who were supposed to be called by god and led through inspiration from god--insisted that I must be acting in some sinful way, and that it was sin that had led to me being suicidal. They encouraged me to read my scriptures and pray more--as if I wasn't already doing that a lot as a missionary--and to repent of my sins (whatever they were, because I sure as fuck didn't know). If I was not sinning in some way, then Satan never could have taken hold in my heart, and Satan was obviously what was causing me to be suicidal. Obviously these commandments did not help, because I wasn't doing anything 'wrong' in the first place.
But that leads to a problem: I believed that these people were called by god, and acting under god's instructions, because I had received a spiritual witness. However, it was clear that they were wrong; I was not acting in a sinful manner (certainly less so than other missionaries!), and I had nothing to repent of. So these things are clearly contradictory: if I have received a spiritual confirmation from god that these men are led by him, then what they are saying must be from god and therefore true. But I know my own actions, and I know that I haven't done anything that is sinful under any remotely normal definition of sin. Therefore, the feelings that I believed were spiritual confirmation must not have been spiritual confirmation at all.
Once you realize that feelings can not be a reliable way of knowing if something is actually true or not (or True, for that matter), then all of it falls apart. You realize that 'answers' to prayers are just feelings, not communication from the divine. The bible is suddenly a book of myths. Miracles dissolve like fog in the sun. When you look at religion--not just Mormonism, but all religion, and you compare it against things that can be verified empirically, none of the claims stand up.
Even though the foundations of my faith cracked while I was a missionary, I was unable to accept the meaning for several years, because Mormonism is a cult, and it's very hard to escape even when you know it's garbage.
Well hello fellow exmo. I gave it up in my late teens. Found myself playing "devil's advocate" too much in discussions with my friends. Tried to pray about it all Joseph Smith style, but just got absolutely nothing. Realized that I had never enjoyed Church, never felt at peace there, and just generally came to the conclusion that the essential problem of free will and comparative religion and the extremely specific truth claims that Mormonism requires weren't holding up. I was also completely eeshed out by the thought of a patriarchal blessing, and I felt no calling whatsoever to go on a mission. I wasn't as traumatized as some, growing up in the Mormon hinterlands of the American south (NE Florida) meant the LDS were a little less high and mighty and I had a circle outside of the church, but the pressure to conform and stay is very real.
I only resigned formally when my mom sicced the missionaries on my never-Mo wife and me after I moved to Texas.
Ultimately, even as religions go, its theology is very silly and its most ardent adherents are real jerks.
Ultimately, even as religions go, its theology is very silly and its most ardent adherents are real jerks.
All religions' theology are very silly when you look at them critically.
True, but there is an almost childlike literalism to the small amount that is unique about Mormon theology, plus it all arose in the era of the printing press and governmental archives, so there are fewer excuses. It's also culturally very top down and high pressure, as you are keenly aware. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to call the mainline LDS church a cult, but it's definitely closer than, say, the Episcopalians.
When I look at Dr. Steven Hassan's BITE model for high-demand religions, the Mormon church ticks most of the boxes to some degree. Take behavior control: "4.Control types of clothing and hairstyles". Okay, you don't have to wear only white, and a specific model of white sneakers. But you are expected to wear opaque clothing that covers temple garments completely, and wear clothing that is free of an 'offensive' imagery or text. Beards and long hair are strongly socially discouraged, and will get you kicked out of BYU, as will visible tattoos and piercings. When you skip to "4. Regulate diet – food and drink, hunger and/or fasting", well there's the word of wisdom, and fast Sundays. And it just kinds goes on and on. They don't do some of the things (murder, rape, etc.), but they do a lot of them to some degree.
At a minimum, it's an unhealthy degree of authoritarian control.
At a minimum, it’s an unhealthy degree of authoritarian control.
You're not wrong.