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Continental philosophy in a nutshell. Find some cool sciencey concept, and abstract it beyond anything that is reasonable.
What would oceanic philosophy be then? Dilute everything?
Continental philosophy is so named because the Brits referred to the philosophers in continental Europe thus. The opposing school is more generally known as analytical philosophy, and posits that rigorous logic can be applied to philosophy.
Continental philosophy: "love should be a dimension, just like time, that would be awesome."
Analytical philosophy: "I'll buy you a beer if you can prove to me that the electron exists."
So, continental philosophy then simply introduces more variables to tackle the problem, while analytical philosophy tries to make actual progress?
Sort of. Continental philosophy is great if you're a stoner, a hopeless romantic, have preconceived religious notions that your philosophy must have a carve out for, or if you write for Hollywood.
Sometimes you get all four. See for example, the "totally scientifically plausible movie, Interstellar!" which posits that love permits time travel... Which this meme format would work great for ;)
a hopeless romantic
so basically french, then