hmm no one said matrix. i rather like matrix. the whole key and passcode seems to confuse people but once its set up its nice and free... and you can host your own server if youre super paranoid.
you can host your own server if youre super paranoid.
Trouble is, if you're paranoid to the point of not wanting your data to traverse other people's servers, then you need other people to sign up on yours.
In other words, if two people have the same mindset, neither of them will ever talk to the other, as Matrix governance rules say that all foreign servers have total right to ownership and control of your data once they access it. It's a little screwed up, honestly, as there is a huge gulf between "once you send your data somewhere, it might not disappear" and "we must preserve your data, as it belongs to us now, you don't have any rights to it"