I’m going to add to the chorus of voices here advising you to stick with homeassistant. It is hands down the best open source home automation platform.
If you need help with reverse proxy let me know if you’re using nginx. There are a few header configurations that are required for the home assistant interface and I’d be glad to share my nginx configuration file.
You could also pay $6/month for nabu casa and they will proxy everything for you in the cloud.
It's not just a reverse proxy that they offer for that price. They also do the hard work of building a connector for google and other smart home systems, and they host parts of the voice assistant pipeline if your hardware isn't capable. Finally, the money helps to fund more cool HomeAssistant stuff.
One of the great things about Home Assistant is they give you full control over everything, so it's entirely up to you how much you rely on local vs cloud infrastructure. It all just comes down to how you configure individual settings and plugins.
Their subscription plan is great because it allows them to continue open source development without relying on commercial sponsorship, so there's no ecosystem bias or advertising or anything crazy like that. A great open source project.