When I feel like that, it tends to be projection. I’m making myself sad and making my own life more difficult, not anyone else’s. I don’t know if that helps helps, but you probably don’t need much guilt about it.
Do remember- it really is trying to help. Negative self talk really is a useful social animal trait that's just going a bit haywire, so figure out what its trying to do and be nice to it.
Also, pain can be experienced first as emotional distress, especially if its pain you've lived with for a long time, and its just hurting extra bad.
Sometimes its easier to do self-care when you picture it as outside of yourself.
So when you're really feeling like shit, try acknowledging its concerns, rational or irrational, and then tell your little red cat its doing a good job and its safe to take a nap.
It isn't a magic fix, but its an actual process to go through. And that feels better than just stewing.
You are with yourself 100% of the time. You can be a friend to yourself and try to help yourself out or you can kick the crap out of yourself which will not solve anything and in addition will make you miserable. What's done is done, and you've clearly thought a lot about it and found your behavior unacceptable in those instances. You can incorporate those lessons and become a wiser person or you can punish yourself endlessly for your mistakes and get nothing. You aren't good or bad, you are capable of doing good or doing bad.