I find the """man up""" school of thought generally works for me when faced w a tough situation but 97% of the time it's presented as an obnoxious show of bravado. What are better ways to phrase this?
like, if i'm feeling bad but force myself to do something, i usually feel better. how to maintain the usefulness of this advice without presenting it as 'fuck your feelings', in that usual arrogant right wing sort of way
While I don't have an exact answer for you I do have two rules that I try to live by that had helped me deal with being an adult:
To be an adult, you only need to know when it is apropriate to be childish. - This implies a shitload of stuff, it implies that you know what being childish means, as well as being able to read a situation. I treat it as a reminder that it is ok to keep playing and as long as you do it apropriately you can ignore critics.
Don't paint the devil on the wall unless he stands in the hallway, but it won't harm you to have some paint available. - Basically don't constantly prepare for the worst, but should the worst happen, take notes and analyze the situation, and be somewhat prepared to do so.