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I'd like to know what to do next. I'm at a juncture in my career - my current gig is dragging me down, and I think I kinda maneuvered myself into a disadvantageous position.
Since forever, I've been a developer, sometimes leading small teams, sometimes working in committees on data interchange formats for the industry sector. Two years ago, I had the opportunity for a position as enterprise architect in a large corporation. Truth is, I still just have theoretical knowledge of what I'm supposed to be doing and feel like I'm floundering pretty bad. And corporate life is sucking out the joy in my life - so much time spent asking around what to do to adhere to process. But on the other hand, I am doing quite well financially.
Building things gives me joy - even if it's just doing a little optimization to shave off a few milliseconds off a database request. Sitting in meetings and going over spreadsheets is not joyful. It's been so long since I've been in the zone editing code. Generally, it's been about 3 years since I've been coding. I've been considering going back, but I have no idea how to spin it in interviews - and my coding skills are dead.
Your coding skills are not dead. I have been in dev since the late 90s and find myself managing a few dev teams (some have a manager that "reports" to me, some are herds of cats and I just try to explain their behaviour to others). I regularly find myself in meetings where "why isn't this done yet" is the topic and the developer is stuck on a technical issue. Despite not even being that fluent in a particular language I can often point out things they should do or two that lead to determining the root cause. I'm also often in conversations about optimizing systems.
That sort of thinking is programming. Typing instructions into an editor is probably the least interesting part of the job.
At your level, you can make deep and broad impacts by designing systems that work, are easy to integrate with, run smoothly, etc. You can empower and inspire tons of people.
Yes, meetings can suck and the report I'm currently working on feels like an exercise in futility, but there's so much more to the job.
The level I'm at right now is so abstract that I hardly ever even see the applications themselves or have contact with the developing teams. When I am dealing with an application, it's just an acronym supporting a list of business capabilities. Any effect I could have is extremely intangible.
I'm aware of the fact that this is just like developing software but on a very, very high level. And I thought I would like it, and I hoped it would get better after I acclimatized to the company. But I'm realizing I am uncomfortable with the level of abstraction, and that I hate corporate politics.
Something else - if you've ever had imposter syndrome as a developer, imagine what it's like as an enterprise architect!
Ok, yeah, I wouldn't like that. :) I have a job title that makes it sound like a job like that but the reality is I'm still very operational some days.
I have no advice (but I do have imposter syndrome!). You could try leaving your job for a smaller, stable company (not a start up). Part of me thinks that you should look back on that as a phase of your career you liked and just focus on being happy in other areas of your life and collect that sweet paycheck. :)
Good luck!