Why does “come here” bother me so much?
Why does “come here” bother me so much?
Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
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My gf used to do that and I found it super annoying. Seems obvious why - do I want to get up over and over again and walk into the other room? No. I might be busy doing something, also. Sometimes the things she’d want me to see were very trivial, too. So it can be inconsiderate. I explained I found it annoying and had to start saying “no”.
She also does a similar thing verbally, like she’ll say my name from 2-3 rooms away. I’ve asked her to rather than say my name and make me yell across the house, please just say whatever it is, or even better, SHE can get up and tell me. To make it more annoying, sometimes she says my name, i respond, then she doesn’t say anything. Again, it’s inconsiderate. I don’t want to be required to shout “YES??”. I’ve asked her repeatedly to please not do it and she still does this.
Since she won’t stop and I’ve told her countless times that I don’t like it, I started responding with a pissy or harsh tone of voice like “WHAT??”…. which has no effect at all. I’d rather not be unpleasant, though… but asking her to please be more considerate and listen to me has no effect at all.
Are you sure your girlfriend isn’t my husband ? It’s just fucking annoying. Just tell me what you want. Or as he so condescendingly says to me when I’ve decided something isn’t worth discussing (he’s the king of talking things through until I see his point and agree with him) he tells me to “use my words”. The reason I’m not using my words is because it’s not worth the following 4 hour debate about how I should see things his way.
He obviously needs to use his words to tell you what he wants.