There are any number of methods, but the goal is being aware that you are in a dream.
The methods I found most effective were dream journaling and reality testing.
Everyday, you record whatever concrete information you definitely remember happening in the dream, even if it's just a red t-shirt someone was wearing for example.
Write it down somewhere, journal or notepad.
Very rapidly, you'll begin remembering more and more of your dreams.
That helps you recognize a dream state.
The other thing I did is reality testing, when you make sure you're awake.
So I will basically wave a hand or a couple fingers every now and then during the day and try to move something with my mind.
And then one day I was in my garage and as a reality rest, I telekinetically lifted the hood on my car.
And when the hood lifted, I realized "oh, I'm dreaming."
Once you're aware, the most important thing is to stay calm and not make drastic changes. Just tried to influence what you can within the context of the dream, and then you get better and better at it.
what if I'm already always aware that I'm in a dream in my dreams?
like my thoughts are almost always based on that (like, "oh no i broke my phone, but it's ok since it's just a dream")
Keeping a dream journal messed my head up so bad. I couldn't distinguish if my memories were from a realistic dream or if it happened in real life. So I dropped it all together.
One thing you didn't mention is setting an alarm at where your sleep is light. Getting up for a glass of water and back to sleep. Your brain is in an optimal "half-awake" state for lucid dreams.
I mentioned it that there are a bunch of methods but I we're just list the two that helped me the most.
I didn't like the alarm one. That in particular, seems like it would mess with your head more since it's disrupting her sleep.
And I didn't notice any difference when I used it.
There were a bunch of methods I tried, but they ranged from impractical to irritating, and the dream journaling and reality testing was simple and resulted in fairly rapid awareness of my dreams.
That does sound tough, not being able to distinguish dreams from reality.
I had a really cool one where I was like ninja flipping around a mall sliding down jumping off escalator handrails fighting these zombie dogs.
Not the fella you replied to, but a common method is to keep up a dream journal. Write your dreams down, write down common themes. The idea is that your subconscious will pick up on these things while you're dreaming, and you'll be able to control your dreams.