Beauty is on the inside

I now live in a climate with HUGE roaches.

I grew up in a climate where they were rare. I never saw a roach in-person until I was in my 20s.

For the first year in my current apartment, it was rare for me to see a roach. Maybe an odd one every once in a while.

Now, I get multiple every time it rains. Which sucks on its own. But, they've all taken to the same habit of crawling up the back of my couch and staring at me 3 inches away from my face to say hello.

When this happens, I transcend beyond fear and anger and enter a blackout rampage mode. Move all my furniture. Couch cushions. Hunting until I'm absolutely certain that every single one of them is dead.

I've bought drain covers. I've bought roach traps. I've cleaned my house top-to-bottom. I've checked the seals on my door and windows. They're nowhere in sight on a dry day, but every time it rains, they're fucking back.

It's genuinely starting to fuck with my head, because whenever I see peripheral movement out of the corner of my eye in my apartment, I think it's a roach. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Are those a pair of little antennae poking out from behind my couch, or am I imagining it? I don't know until I've done yet another sweep.

It's harder to fall asleep. I keep having brief bouts of imagination wbere bugs are crawling and swarming all over me. I constantly do visual sweeps of my apartment. I can feel my stress level rising on rainy days. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I fucking hate roaches.

Roach whisperer, I'm pretty sure it isn't a useless super power. It mustn't be.