A coworker set the break room on fire by microwaving her lunch for 30 minutes instead of three. No idea how you forget your lunch is in the microwave, let alone for half an hour, but hey I got to go home early.
30 minutes? Those are rookie numbers. You want a shorter time? Go for something truly vintage. I have a 1977 Amana Radarange that can achieve the same in 5-8 minutes. Those fuckers are powerful.