None of this is even an exaggeration in any way
None of this is even an exaggeration in any way
You're viewing a single thread.
idk how I feel about this, it's definitely not this cut-and-dried – it's situational but I've both been the friend who says no worries over coffee or food or whatever and the friend who says "hey pls pay me back the $30-50 for [movie/concert tickets, pricy thing we went in on together, etc.], thanks". but I'm also very much on the low end of income for software engineering (below six figures) and providing for a disabled spouse, which has me (probably unnecessarily) always at least low-grade stressed about money.
low end of income for software engineering (below six figures)
Yes, if you are in the US and you have been in the workforce for >1 year you are being severely underpaid, even for a low cost of living area and the current messed up job market. Check out https://levels.fyi.
It may also be that you have your reasons for staying at the place you're at but I like to let people know just in case. I was unknowingly being very, very underpaid and nearly tripled my salary after a colleague tipped me off.
you're not wrong, but I've interviewed for higher-paying positions and it's always incredibly stressful. I also work for a very small web hosting company (literally less than 10 employees) where everyone's chill and the owner doesn't make an insane amount of money compared to the rest of us, which just feels... I dunno, less awful than working for a big company where the CEO rakes in several orders of magnitude more than I do, somehow?
Yeah I'd sooner lump you in with the barista considering cost of living.
considering cost of living
it's insane to me that I'm making more than I've ever made and still feel almost as poor as I did when my spouse and I were both in school and working part-time jobs. like, early-20-something me would have killed to make as much as I am now in the '10s, and it's just barely scraping by money in '20s.
I make more money than I used to even joke about 15 years ago and I still will never be able to afford a house here.. i'm not scraping by at all but housing is out of the question. If my partner ever left I'd have to leave the state because there's just no way I'm going to live with roommates again
ugh, very much same. pre-pandemic, my partner and I were saving for a minimum down payment (3-5%) on a house... and now houses cost over twice as much and interest rates are super high, easily doubling the amount we'd need to save while tripling the mortgage payments we'd need to make.
but hey I guess at least we have enough in savings to partially pay for a car when our old-ass corolla finally bites the dust.
yeah, we're at the point of our almost 20 year old rav4 crapping out too.. we're supposed to go look for a newish car this weekend but part of me really doesn't want to spend the money because it feels like it's only going to put us even further out of reach of a house
Honestly it's no wonder everybody is homeless. I felt bad about not helping a guy home last night but I'm a woman driving alone so it was kinda like "wtf why do you think I'd feel safe doing that for any strange man"
Apologies for the non-sequeteur
nah you're good, and also good on you for sticking up for yourself and saying no! I'm sure many men do legitimately just need help, but it's a scary world out there for women and enbies.
EDIT
removed "to an extent" after "and enbies".
I...am not sure I'd even say "to an extent" for enbies. While the trans men I've interacted with have been lackluster in wielding the privilege they gain for good, the afab enbies celebrate each piece of privilege because they are few and far between, if they are extant in the first place. I am ignorant if the statistics are granular enough to tell us this info, but after Nex, I feel it is fair to say many enbies experience harassment on the same scale and pervasiveness as trans women.
Hell, some of the trans women I know are enbiephobic, so I feel like in some what it's our job to support enbies, because it's starting to look like "first they came for the enbies, and I said nothing, because I am not an enbie".
I genuinely prefer enbies as queer allies out of everyone else, but I feel like that's an attitude you'll get generally only from younger trans women. I guess I'm just saying while if someone like me is hurt I am deeply saddened for the loss of someone I extend my love to, but when an enbie is hurt it means (at least to me) someone who I could talk to with zero mask. I really hope I'm not saying anything shitty, to either group, cuz I have identified with being nonbinary in several ways over the years so maybe that would explain my feelings of companionship
Also thank you for the support in keeping myself safe 💜
I...am not sure I'd even say "to an extent" for enbies.
y'know what, you're right. I think I have a tendency to downplay prejudice against myself, and by extension people like me, and that's really not the right way to look at things, and I certainly shouldn't try to speak for all nonbinary people. thank you for your perspective, Gaia.