Begging any hot mono women on here in the Ottawa region to date and love me or else they're going to throw me back onto the apps where I'll be torn apart

Either having mono or being monogamous, I don't care at this point. Just save me from the fright and eventual, inevitable destruction of myself by being exposed to a bunch of people who, if forced to watch Zone Of Interest, would give it a 2/5 rating on Letterboxd for "humanizing the inner lives of Nazis" because they sympathized with Hedwig wanting to travel to fascist Italian spas.