Installing a bidet at home was life changing but
unfortunately it's transformed pooping on
company time from a small proletarian victory into
yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate
working conditions.
Yeah. The upside down shower I use works great. I clean myself off, and the shower head between my feet keeps spraying what I've just washed off my body... back onto my body. Totally reasonable, no reason for criticism.
A bidet only sprays your asshole though? And it doesn't get it's water supply from the toilet bowl, it's hooked up to clean water? I don't understand why you think any of that happens.
Edit: I read your other comments farther down, so the context changes matters. I get what you were aiming to say.